Pain Train Has Arrived - Woooo Woooo

That my friends summarizes in 3 minutes and 42 seconds what El Obamador dished out over the course of 6+ hours during this year's Big Indian Scalping, and to be honest by the end of the ride it would have been less painful to leave the empty coffee pot at Feltcher & Sons than to have finished even one of the 5 climbs on slate for the day.

Participation at this year's BIS was, as in the past, on the light side due in part to the known beating at hand but also because the Stewart Six Pack was the following day. Now if you have the fortitude of El Obamador then there wouldn't be any issue, you would ride Big Indian and then go out the next day and kick ass and win your class, but then again El O isn't your ordinary rider nor is his side kick our own Drill Sargent Brian "Man of Steel". Seeing it was only going to be the three of us I was the proverbial Wall Street meat in a Marine Sandwich in what was sure to be a rather brisk pace (my bladder nearly emptied at the mere thought of just how much this was going to hurt). Coming at the end of a 3 week build for the Death Ride this was assured of being doubly painful. The one comforting thought was, if you survived, the reward at the end was an outdoor table at Aroma Thyme Bistro, ice cold margaritas and finely crafted IPAs.

The non race was to encompass the climbs of Sugarloaf, Frost Valley (Big Indian), Peekamoose, Red Hill & Cragsmoor as the bonus at the end (nothing like riding past the finishing point only to know you have a 3 mile climb to go! The warm up climb to Round Out Reservoir was reserved enough to lull yours truly into a false sense of security that would soon give way to a world of hurt so dark that even those into S&M would be using their safe word. Turning onto Sugarloaf, in what I am positive was a predetermined decision, Terry Tate inquired about checking out Glade Hill Road (aka The Elevator Shaft) which turned into a mile plus slog up slopes that occasionally dipped below 12% and regularly were pushing 20+%. Suddenly seeing red and with my heart beating louder than the woofers in a pimped out Compton Low Rider I was off the bike and hiking not once but twice. I am sure at this stage I had this look

WTF, this is the first climb and we aren't more then 10 miles into this century......MOMMY!!!! Sugarloaf showed a bit more mercy but as the Marines pedaled off into the distance I suffered and hiked and suffered and did countless impersonations of a Ulster County guppy. And just when I thought it was all over we turned onto Red Hill Road and doled copious amounts of misery. At the summit this really summed it up

The reward in it all, a spectacular view at the summit and then a descent that had one's taint pucker, carbon rims melting (praise Allah I had the Cx bike with disc brakes) and speeds topping 46mph - RIGHTEOUS!

With the first climb in it was a quick pit stop for water refills and egg/bacon sandwiches to replenish the empty tanks.

Breakfast Break

Knowing the day would be long, hot & sunny and with the TdF on the roads C-Dubbs enlisted in the MRC division of the French Foreign Legion.

Tour de France Legionnaire

Just up the road from breakfast at Tiffany's was our rides namesake - Big Indian climb. At 13 miles in length, while long, this would be like a ride in the park compared to everything else to be dished out. Big Indian also offered up on amazing 13 mile descent into the town of Big Indian and what was promised to be long gradual descent to the mandatory espresso stop at Bread Alone.

The One and Only - 13 miles up/13 miles down

And Obamador being Obamador rather then recovery it was flat out all the way to Bread Alone. I put everything on the table just to suck that wheel like I was sucking chrome off a trailer hitch. I mean Christ, when you have to pedal flat out to stay in the diesel engine's draft you know you're fucked for the end.

What I Think of the "Recovery Portion" of the ride

Our Terry Tate Revving Up For Peekamoose

Mercy was something in short supply today and the ascent of Peekamoose was another ugly one with a perfect double axel dismount being performed before I hoofed it up the last 20% grade. I mean really what the fuck am I doing to myself?

The final climb up Red Hill promised to take us deep into deliverance country and not knowing what lay in store in dropped into our favorite Peekamoose supply station and stocked up on water and ammo for the final ascent.

Restocking before going deep into Peekamosse Territory

The descent made all of the suffering worth while and there is nothing quite like blowing past a State Trooper on the descent and not getting a ticket. With the heat and humidity enough was enough and the climb to Cragsmoor was scrapped in favor of the parking lot a Aroma Thyme where the celebratory tomahawk was displayed.

Scalped!

One margarita in and this really sums up my not so superior state of mind. Remember next up is the Chinaman 100, details to follow.

Totally Spent

Redneck Roubaix Update

New date - 9/1, more details to follow as Rob "Greipel" tips off our sources at the MRC HQ.

Read It And Weep - Comb-Overs Will Be Required After This One

Yes my good friends and fellow worshippers of pain, it is just over 2 days away for the opportunity to get scalped complements of our own Mexican wrestling star El Obamador. Follow this link (and think about it long and hard as you follow those wheels) to see just what death and destruction El O has in store for those with the mental fortitude and hardened taints to take on the NECS/MRC Beast of the East. Best of all is the maximum mental abuse you will take as we roll back to Aroma Thyme Bistro because you don't get to sip that frosty cold IPA so soon, it is up 52 to the summit of Cragsmoor and then back down before the whistle gets wet.
Also hotter than the habeneros at beer cross is the spectacular MRC kit. We will have the sample sizes from Squadra for the MRC kit with jerseys running $79 for Team cut and $95 for Pro Cut and bibs a taint massaging $115. We are the MRC in name but not bank accounts so if you want in bring cash, order will be going in after the weekend (there will be one more weekend to size up before the samples go back).

Nuf' Said

MRC Kit Update

Yes all of you that prefer to ride with nothing on will be disappointed that the samples for the MRC kit are finally in house. These finely crafted products from Squadra will on hand at the Big Indian Scalping for a test fit and bring a fist full of dollars if you want to order.
First glance has revealed the following - jerseys run smaller than usual, I wear a large in Giordono, Champion and Primal but the XL is the right fit. Also the jerseys are more of a fitted cut as opposed to a loose cut (there is a "Club Cut" that we are trying to get samples of) and pricing will be $95 for the pro (a tight fitting race jersey) and $78 for the team (a slightly looser fit).
On the part that matters the most, your fine fragile taint the pro cut bibs offer a chamois that, even after a century, will make you feel like you are cuddling up with a baby lamb. These babies are well padded, extremely comfortable and have passed the C-Dubbs/Wilderness 101 test. All of that comfort for your nether regions does come at a pice, these bad boys will be $115 each. Sizing wise they are the same as Girodono, Primal and Champion, large is large.

Scalp'em Tantric - Go Big (Indian) Or Go Home

Here at the NECS/MRC nothing makes us giddier than a school girl listening to the Beibs crooning some white man rap than the prospect of a good old sufferfest. This Saturday, 6/29, will be the riding equivalent of the alignment of all 9 planets (8 for the yoots). With California Death Ride preparations calling for a 7-9 hour session of taint hardening, I put out a text to our Sargent at Arms of the Pain Infliction Unit, El Obamador. With out hesitating our beloved Dr Evil agreed that the time was perfect for the most grueling of the NECS/MRC non race series - Big Indian Scalping!

Details of the course are a bit fuzzy as most participants have been too cross eyed from all of the climbing to recall what happened by the time the beating finally subsides back in Ellenville . We can confirm roll out will be 8:00 am from Aroma Thyme Bistro, ride is 95 miles with a 5 mile victory lap climb and over 7000' of vertical. Logistics on resupply of food and water are unknown so prepare accordingly and there will be a post ride debrief of the survivors over copious amounts of fine IPAs. Expect to have your taint in the saddle for 7+ hours of HTFU riding. Just remember it is the NECS/MRC pleasure to serve you up pain.

Redneck Roubaix

Hold the presses, Rob (Greipel) Ost is joining the ranks of non race organizers and will be hosting the Redneck Roubaix in early September. Stay tuned for details (and of course those on Facebook, which I am not, will hear all about it. Get those Cx bikes ready!

Finally Gran Fondo

Okay so I'm a total jerk, it's been over three weeks since GF and I haven't been able to get anything written. Yeah we had a great time and I hope all of you (Mayor, MacGyver, Raveinator, Fat Chick) that were suddenly afflicted with sandinmymanginacocus, that nasty bacteria that tends to inflict riders in our region right before non-races.
This year we were blessed with a cool day and strong winds, the best weather to date for the non race. The arrival of each rider marked an important event, the ritual filling of the cooler and with everyone ready to ride the MRC directors ducked into the man cave for an important board meeting. With the minutes recorded we set out for the first sprint point (and having painted the start/finish lines in the pouring rain it was a bit of a guessing game and on the first sprint I set the hounds loose about 600 meters out. It was great watching Rob Greipel and My Cousin Vinnie battle it out. With Flying Frank sporting the polka-dot jersey as last year's KOM I decided at the last minute to add this competition back in the event with all of the climbs being really short steeps and as expected Frank defended his title with honor and a few pieces of lung at the top of each climb.
Great ride, great time, thanks everyone that showed up. Sorry this is such a lame story but honestly my life flashed before my eyes more then a few times as I blew up in spectacular fashion. Also we want to welcome the newest member of the MRC, Yo Bike Chick, who showed the true HTFU attitude riding a vintage lugged steel frame and who we suspect will do quite well in Beer Cross as her coach is none other then 2 time defending champion/puke master Senor Agua Caliente.
Next up, the weekend of 8/17, the Chinaman 100 featuring the kamikaze descent off Hunter Mountain.

Intermediate Sprint Winner Beers

Repeat KoM Winner - Flying Frank

Traditional MRC Espresso Stop

Group Piss At The Gorge

C-Dubbs and Iron Brian

The Queen of HTFU - Yo Bike Chick

Coming Soon To A Taint Near You - Official MRC Kits

At long last the Directors of the MRC (aka NECS) have gotten their shit together and making available to you, Joe Public cyclist, these tasty offerings from Squadra. After hundreds of miles of testing these bibs have received the C-Dubbs Taint Seal of Approval. Trust me and my taint, these babies are some of the most comfortable shorts that have ever embraced my man parts.
Sizing samples should be here in the next couple of weeks and we are aiming to have them ready for the road by the Chinaman 100 in mid August. Let us know by phone, email, blog comment, facebook post or smoke signal (the preferred method of communication for the MRC) if you want in. Oh yeah I promise to try and get something posted about the Gran Fondo and our newest non race planned for cooler days of September, the Rifman-Roubaix.