In Ancient Greece, sneezes were believed to be prophetic signs from the gods. In 410 BC, for instance, the Athenian general Xenophon gave a dramatic oration exhorting his fellow soldiers to follow him to liberty or to death against the Persians. He spoke for an hour motivating his army and assuring them of a safe return to Athens until a soldier underscored his conclusion with a sneeze. Thinking that this sneeze was a favorable sign from the gods, the soldiers bowed before Xenophon and followed his command. Another divine moment of sneezing for the Greeks occurs in the story of Odysseus. When Odysseus returns home disguised as a beggar and talks with his waiting wife Penelope, she says to Odysseus, not knowing to whom she speaks, that "[her husband] will return safely to challenge her suitors"". At that moment, their son sneezes loudly and Penelope laughs with joy, reassured that it is a sign from the gods.
In Europe, principally around the early Middle Ages, it was believed that one's life was in fact tied to one's breath - a belief reflected in the word "expire" (originally meaning "to exhale") gaining the additional meaning of "to come to an end" or "to die". This connection, coupled with the significant amount of breath expelled from the body during a sneeze, had likely led people to believe that sneezing could easily be fatal. This theory, if proven conclusively, could in turn explain the reasoning behind the traditional "God bless you" response to a sneeze, the origins of which are currently unclear. Sir Raymond Henry Payne Crawfurd, for instance, the late registrar of the Royal College of Physicians, in his 1909 book "The Last Days of Charles II", states that, when the controversial monarch was on his deathbed, his medical attendants administered a concoction of cowslips and extract of ammonia to promote sneezing. However, it is not known if this promotion of sneezing was done to hasten his death (as coup de grace), or as an ultimate attempt at treatment.
In certain parts of Eastern Asia, particularly in Chinese culture (and believe me we here at the New East Coast Syndicate are big fans of Chinese culture), Japanese culture and Vietnamese culture, a sneeze without an obvious cause was generally perceived as a sign that someone was talking about the sneezer at that very moment. This can be seen in the Book of Songs (a collection of Chinese poems) in ancient China as early as 1000 BC, and this belief is still depicted in present-day manga and anime. In China, Vietnam and Japan, for instance, there is a superstition that if talking behind someone's back causes the person being talked about to sneeze; as such, the sneezer can tell if something good is being said (one sneeze), something bad is being said (two sneezes in a row), even if someone is in love with them (three sneezes in a row) or if this is a sign that they are about to catch a cold (multiple sneezes).
All of you NECS loyalists might ask what does all of this have to do with the Vermont 50? Well, the healing of the BBQ ribs was coming along pretty well and having completed some excitingly mind numbing rides on the trainer, my fitness, while not ideal for the race, was still pretty good and I was looking forward to the Long Trail Brewey and 50 miles of VT single track. Having secured a registration slot that was as valuable as the golden ticket in a Wonka Bar, my spirits and hopes were up for making the race. Then came an event feared by anyone that has suffered this condition - the great big sneeze. When it was over I felt like my ribs had been blown through my side and I knew it was game, set and match. Much like Roberto Duran I bowed my head and muttered "No Mas". Time to sit back and suck down countless rounds of fine IPA.
All that changed this weekend as Mrs. Cuds waded into her second tri of the season. The lake, sans snapping turtles and water mocossins, proved to be the hardest leg. Getting caught in the swiftfoot current along the banks of the lake Mrs. CDubs came out of the water a bit disadvantaged as the bikes rolled out of transition. Countless laps of training over the course paid off in a fast time and a close battle out of the transition to the run with Hairy Eye Ball Lisa who made countless attempts to body block the trail as they headed into the woods. Pacing like an expectant father as I fulfilled my role of bottle bitch, I scanned the trail for signs of Hairy and Mrs. C. Then out of the woods the Mrs. appear with the competition about 50 yards ahead. Suddenly vision of the Pancake and I feared that someone might get their lights punched out at the finish. A believer in karma the Mrs. did the right thing and held back crossing the line in honor.
Rumor has it she was heard to say "if that bitch is in my age class I'll kill myself. Alas she was in another class with the Mrs. taking home the hardware.
The Mrs. and the infamous "Podium Dress"
