Beaten But Not Down

The MRC/NECS non race season has officially started with the Bear Mountain Beatdown in the books. With the Amy Freeze inspired forecast calling for mid 40s with morning showers (of the non-golden variety) giving way to mostly cloudy skies there was a strong chance that only the most hardened of the troops would muster for the call to battle.
It was a clear signal participation would be light when the CDC arrived at the staging area looking to quarantine the group due to a severe case of Manginaitis sweeping the Orange County riding community. When presented with the our therapeutic use exemption (TUE) for Rifmancyclene the boys in the NBC Protective Suits put in the call to Pat McQuaid who officially signed off on the events UCI sanctioning.

Making the grade were El Obamador, C-Dubbs, Senor “if there’s beer at the end of the ride I’m in” Agua, Brian and John. For those that have paid attention to the ramblings of this venue of superior attitude and superior state of mind you are well versed in the antics of the 3 amigos but need to understand the mindset it takes to ride the Beatdown. Brian, along with El Obamador make up the Marine contingent of the group and you know El O has the ability to withstand hardships (Wilderness 101/Dark Horse 40 weekend of racing) but Brian, well he is a whole other animal. With temps hovering the the low 40s, damp/raw conditions and a good strong gusty wind out of the northwest that had us all slathered in embrocation and warm clothing this is how Brian rolls –

Rolling out of town we were cheered on by the masses lining the street of Cornwall

Before plunging down the descent to the Hudson River. Here we make the traditional stop to wave our manhood at the passing watercraft.

Brain running from our massive one-eyed trouser trouts

And this stop is critical for shedding every last gram of weight as just down the road is the sharp right onto Lower Mountain Road/Boulevard/Maple and the never ending, lung searing grinder to the summit at Storm King School (one of those fine private institutes of academia that welcome with open arms the offspring of Mercedes driving parents). Moving with the trend to gravel road riding El Obamador swapped the double climb/descent on 9W for a section through the  Black Rock Forest.

Our version of the Strade Bianchi included multiple stretches of Item #4 quality gravel that assured one of a taint massage like only Criss Angel would happily offer.

At the summit, in the middle of nowhere, we came across this unlikely pair

from the fine Borough of Queens (yes the same place Prince Akeem sought out his queen) doing maintenance on a Carbon Flux Capacitator. 

The first question they asked – “are you riding 23s?” (seriously we can’t make this shit up).

Surviving a downhill section better suited to a mountain bike (John was truly feeling at ease here) it was time for a pair of high speed winding descents to the town of Fort Montgomery where speeds topped 45mph. The big smiles at the bottom soon turned to looks of suffering as the Bear Mountain summit lay ahead.  At the base Senor Agua, El Obamador, Brian and C-Dubbs set off to inflict maximum pain while John smartly held back to conserve for the later half of the ride. The turn on to Jenkins saw Senor Agua and C-Dubbs off the back with Brian finally popping near the summit.

After regrouping at the summit, enjoying the view for awhile we realized John was MIA.

Quick call and it was confirmed, John had been sniffing Jenkem on the lower slopes, missed the turn onto Jenkins and was now well on his way to Woodbury Commons for some outlet mall shopping. We saddled up, tore ass down the upper slopes of Bear Mountain before jumping onto the Palisades Parkway and a big grinding climb up Route 6 that greeted up with a strong headwind. Here C-Dubbs did a spectacular impersonation of a lamprey

riding El Obamador’s wheel to the summit and ensuing descent into the US Military Academy at West Point where we encountered troop movement exercises and army grunts coming out of the woods in full battle gear and firearms.

A quick salute to our comrades and we continued the high speed descent through the gates of the academy and onto Storm King Highway.

Roadway climb.

Normally at this point everyone gives a high five as the climbing is over and it is a fast run to town and a well deserved beer. This time, just to make sure you got the beatdown you signed up for, another climb to the Storm King School was served up but this time it was straight up Mountain Road. This has to be about a 2 mile climb that is littered with sections (and not short ones) hitting close to 20 degrees. Brian “I’m so tough I eat glass for breakfast” crushed all comers, C-Dubbs (even with a brief rest in a driveway) managed to eek out second with Senor Agua and El Obamador carrying on a casual conversation the entire climb. John, well being new to the road was hitting PRs for distance and climbing, summited with a big shit eating grin.

At this point there was near mutiny when El Obamador suggested we head back down via Maple/Boulevard which included yet another short steep section that was sure to hurt the vertically challenged. Instead we opted to race the cars down 9W where cars were blowing by at 50-60 while we were in the mid 40s. Taking the exit at the bottom we arrived back at the parking lot with warm temps, sunny skies and the appropriate post ride beer (provided by our esteemed organizer) that summed up the day.

A debriefing on the days ride was held over burgers, pulled pork sandwiches and double IPAs. If you weren't there you missed another great one. See you at the Gran Fondo.