NECS Exclusive - First Interview With The Mayor (Sans Kegerator)

With the sun setting over the Nile and the Koranic verses coming from the minarets around Cairo, there was a news flash of such magnitude that news crews immediately headed for Cairo International Airport for the next flight to Newburgh. Using years of experience honed in Afghanistan, NECS freelance reporter Christine Amanpour pulled out her silver plated AK-47 (a gift from Hamid Karzi), held the rest of the investigative reporters at bay and landed this exclusive interview with the Mayor -

C.A. - Mr. Mayor,

Mayor - Christine you can drop the Mister part, like a supermodel I go by one name - Mayor!

C.A. - Sorry about that Mayor. Getting back to the important matters at hand. The recent protests in Cairo and Tunisia, what impact do you see this having both globally and for Dark Horse.

Mayor - Well old Hosni is learning what I have known for years, you can only suppress the masses for so long and then they rebel. Unless of course you have the massive dictatorial powers I have - the bike shop - then they are like putty in your hands. Globally, once the masses take over, since they are poor there is no way they will be driving, unless you are the lucky first 100 to get into the palace garage and steal one of the Bentleys. Therefore they will learn what the Chinese and Dutch have known for a long time, bikes rule. To position DH Cycles for the onslaught of demand I have secured the next 5 years of production from Taiwan and through my connections at Al-Jazeera have set up a web based distribution network to cover the sub Saharan and Middle Eastern markets.

C.A. - Dark Horse, at first sight appears to be a modest operation, fully capable of handling the demands for roadies and mountain bikers from the region. How do you plan to ramp up operations for such a global project?

Mayor - Two words - Raveinator & Coffee. Combine these two and you have more power then a 3 megaton thermonuclear device.

C.A. - But is a wired up Raveinator all you need, how will the shop handle the volume of assembly?

Mayor - Well Christine, it was a tough decision but it came down to bikes or booze and in a moment of delirium I picked bikes and tossed the kegerator out the back door. Right now with the cold weather it isn't an issue, put'em in the snow in the morning and they are ready for consumption later in the day. Now later in the year I could be singing the blues but I live for the moment. Speaking of which, hey Raveinator can you get me a beer. Besides the kegerator has a great new home with Top Chef.

C.A. - Is there any truth to the rumors that DH Racing will adopt an Islamic influence, giving up alcohol and having women riders in burkas?

Mayor - Yeah right, give up alcohol! What drugs are you doing? As for the burka thing well that could be a bit more interesting, it will add a bit of mystery to the team and we could even sneak a ringer into the women's class. Speaking of giving up alcohol, hey Raveinator, can you make sure that kegerator gives up another beer to me ASAP. I don't want to see anything extra in that six barrel by the time this interview is over. Hey Christine, you prefer a regular or pint glass?