Those non racers that were astute enough to register not only were rewarded not only with spokecards but swag never before handed out at a non race, these custom growlers to hold you beverage of choice.
Heeding to the cries for mercy after last year's slaughter of the dizzy bat, this year's event featured a bevy of options for each lap that included egg nog (with or without rum)and it's 13 grams of fat per serving.
White Castle sliders, PBRs, hot peppers (habaneros & jalapenos) and of course the famous bat. Even the most serious of non racers paid heed to the race organizer's threat, to do to them what a dog locked in for the night does to the first tree it comes upon after being let out, and came out in costume.Hazel
Ricky Bobbie "If you ain't first your last"
Ricky Bobbie's Ride
Naughty Nun
The Crew
As the riders stepped up to the line, The Stig finally released the months of pent up male tension at not having Mikesquatch to ride with and did his best Madonna/Britney Spears rendition as he locked the young cougar cub in a bromantic moment of love.And I say moment because right after this, as Mrs Mayor gave the starting command, our tech gurus at C-Farms caught this shot of Mikesquatch and the drag queen C-Dubs both tripping The Stig at the line.
With the sprint on, Top Chef lead the charge to the bikes where the mandatory consumption commenced. Immediately pre race strategies played out with Senor Agua making fast work of his PBR and setting a blistering early pace. Meanwhile Top Chef and The Stig (aka Infantile Tom) were waving for someone to come and give the Heimlich maneuver to each as they literally chocked down a pair of White Castle sliders.
There were even a few brave souls that started the run with Jalapenos in mouth.As the laps ticked by there were several strategies being deployed by the riders. True partiers showed their colors with devotion to the PBR section that rivaled any orthodox religious sect, even taking breaks to consume several beers before heading back out. Another group adopted the strategy of consuming a different offering each lap but fast learned that the 2 minutes heating up the sliders resulted in rather slow lap times. Finally the speed merchants showed their true colors and after a couple of laps of PBRs opted for the Habaneros with El Obamador being the first to take the bite.
First taking a cautious bite, commenting that "these aren't that hot" and then taking the rest of the Habanero in one bite before riding off on his next lap. Coming around to the pits on the following lap El Obamador, with tears streaming from his eyes, went straight for the PBRs and according to witnesses took down a couple trying to put the fire out. At this point it was too late for him to get the word of caution out and Habaneros were going off the table faster then promo dresses in a limo. The highlight of hot pepper option came when Bunny Rabbit hit the pits and in a quest for glory grabbed one of the Habaneros, consumed it in one bite and rode off into the sunset.C-Dubs happened upon this poor sole later in the lap while prancing over the barriersonly to see a man in tears with snot pouring out of his nose and a plea for liquids you would expect to hear from a man in the middle of the desert.
Always one to go with the crowd, Senor Agua pitted from the lead and went straight for the Habaneros consuming the biggest one in a single bite and speeding back out onto the course. C-Dubs, during one of his "social PBR pit stops" witnessed this act of bravery and was so dumbfounded he could do only one thing, drink yet another beer and wait for Senor Agua to hit the pits on the next lap. Perhaps from watching countless episodes of Man vs. Food, Senor Agua pitted with fire in his eyes in quest of dairy product to calm the burn. Well that meant egg nog and with the zeal displayed over the past laps he grabbed the biggest glass and chugged, hoping for instant relief. And get it he did, immediately launching a stream of egg nog, sliders, PBR, Habenaro and bile into the garbage can leaving C-Dubs speechless and grabbing for yet another PBR. No sooner had he emptied and it was off on the bike for more laps. In the closing laps Top Chef witnessed yet another purge by Senor Agua,
clearly he had paid close attention to section in the non rules around puking on the course (and when you let it fly in front of the race organizer you really score points with the judges) and was doing all he could to secure the top step.When the dust had settled, snot wiped away and puke cleaned off it was clear one non racer stood above all others in showing true Beer Cross spirit. The hands down, and throw up, winner and defending champion was none other then Senor Agua.
(Yeah I had a few to drink before shooting this sideways)
Podium Hardware
Winner and Defending Champion
In second place, making a rare guest appearance was Katie's little cub Mikesquatch Davidson and in third, for leading the charge in the Habanero department was El Obamador. The special douche bag award went to last year's consolation prize winner, The Stig (aka 3 Beer Rossi).
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