With Thor costume and hammer complete I planned to leave the hacienda at 4:20 which would allow for plenty of time to get there and even get lost on the way. Well not only did I get lost (the Tom Tom was taking me to the wrong wrong place) but right after we passed the entrance I realized my cape was still in the house. A quick shout of "I have no idea what's going on" and it was a U-turn with all 5.7 liters of Dodge Ram power screaming down the road. Some quick calculations by the Mrs and it looked like it would be touch and go to make the start, in fact to control the pace Mrs. C-Dubs was giving false time to destination readings to keep sanity behind the wheel. The plan worked and we arrived at the parking lot sans tickets/accidents with 15 minutes to spare. Mrs C-Dubs raced off to registration where she attempted to procure my number plate turned spoke card to no avail, I wasn't on the list. Suddenly it came rushing to her like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist - Thor, God of Thunder - and sure enough fireworks went off and skyrockets shot into the air - I was in.
Meanwhile back at truck I was busy prepping both myself and the bike while Top Chef tried out this mean machine.
The Hobo Slayer
With enough glow sticks to supply a New York City rave, I set about securing them to every tube on the frame and fork to create the Tron bike. All I needed was a boom box with the Chemical Brothers and a bag of Ecstasy and this could become Fear and Loathing at Lippman Park.
Special thanks goes to the Boogie Man/Raveinator/Shop Sidekick who pitched in to make sure it all came together in time for the prerace meeting.
Similar to the affect of strobe lights on epileptics, the glow tubes were affecting the competition in a twisted way. Suddenly in the middle of the briefing a Roman gladiator pulled his sword and in stunned silence the peleton watched as Thor and his hammer took on the Roman and his sword.
Braveheart stepped in, extended an olive branch and the two combatants hit Thor's flask of Del Maguay before the start.Revved up on dumplings, Del Maguay and the power of Thor's hammer I hit out on the trails glowing like a remnant from Hiroshima. In the darkness I rode with the inner working of the minikeg coming loose and banging around incessantly. I could hear the cackling laugh of the Boogie Man as he howled my name whenever the course doubled back on itself.
Riding the lap holding the hammer in my hand was like hanging on to two handlebars which meant a minimal amount of front brake was available. Make for interesting riding when you venture onto new trails at night with limited capabilities to stop. Finally coming out of the woods on my first lap in 10th,
I opted to hang with the ladies of the NECS (Mrs C-Dubs, Mrs Top Chef and Braveheart's calming force - Kate) unitl my fellow warriors crossed the line.
Riding with this elaborate hood ornament proved to be a bit more then Top Chef cared to deal with for another lap so it was off with it's head, a shot of Del Maguay for all and off into the woods. As we raced into the night we passed howling ghouls, carved pumpkins in the corners and ghosts in the trees. On one straight with TC out front and Braveheart in close pursuit Top Chef took the opportunity to push the hanging man to one side with the evil intention of inflicting maximum carnage to the rest of us. Well good old Braveheart came up with the short straw and seeing the stuffed man he increased the cadence, lowered the shoulder and took it like a true Scotsman - right to the body. Suddenly on a night of the full moon there was another one right before my eyes and the kilted Scotsman was sent tumbling right over the handlebars with the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen. Luckily no one was hurt and we were back on the bikes pedaling for madly for the romantic full moon over the field view and of course the mandatory shots of Del Maguay. With the flask empty we headed off to complete the second of 3 laps and once again a hello to the ladies. At this point Top Chef and Nancy (Braveheart) decided that antique shopping was the order of the evening so I mounted my trusty steed and headed off into the abyss. In an amazing display of wrist snapping capabilities,the Boogie Man bolted into the lead right from the start and was able to hold off the competition until the final climb where a spandex clad non costume racer with gears made the pass. A truly amazing effort from the Raveinator!!!!Coming down the finishing straight I had the Boogie Man (2nd overall) and Hobo Slayer (6th overall) cheering me on so I killed the lights to let the full effect of the Tron bike hypnotize the course marsahals who then declared my effort had resulted in second in Masters - finally the drought has been broken.
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