Non Race Day - Beer Cross 2009

Okay loyal fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, after a week of waiting with baited breath here is the down and dirty on what will go down as the Non Race of the year and is sure to be future classic along the lines of Paris-Roubaix.
I awoke from a night of sleep with all of the anxiety and excitement of a 6 year old on Christmas Day, at long last it was time for Beer Cross '09 and we had been blessed by the Cyclocross gods.....there was 4 inches of fresh snow on the course and 5 - 30 packs of PBR in the back of the pickup chilled to perfection from a night out in the snow. All we needed now was some cowbells and Belgian waffles and UCI certification would be all but guaranteed.
Sometime during the night Shop Sidekick rambled out onto the course and added a bit of excitement with the Snowman Chicane. Knock one done and it's beer drinking time!With so much at stake everyone was out early pre riding the courseto get a better feel of the traction and to try and best memorize the layout. The big dogs (Montelbano & Shop Sidekick) had the race faces going and mumbling about how they were going to rock the course and for good reason. At stake was this fine display of hardware that included limited edition Gogi berry influenced number plates, pint glasses and awesome yeastly malted beverages.What they had failed to realize was this was a New East Coast Syndicate production and the non rules had stacked the deck heavily in favor of the drinkers. There was only one dizzy bat and it had to be shared by 6 riders so the start was going to be critical.

Pit Stop Beverage Of ChoiceBraveheart - Fully Authentic ScotsmanThe Mayor, Still Suffering The Effects Of Shenandoah Syndrome, Adjusts His Panty HoseThe overnight snows had resulted in the morning ride be cancelled so most everyone was at the course early putting in the laps and sizing up the competition while we waited for the arrival of Sal with the race swag - beer coolers.
Sergant Sal With The OrdnanceThe Coveted DHBX CoozyThe Mayor Showing Us Who Is In Charge (Think Max from the Grinch That Stole Christmas)
At the non race meeting everyone listened with interest to the non rules which were fairly simple. Le Mans start with a 100' run to the bikes where you either chugged an icy cold Dale's Pale Ale or 10 times around the bat before mounting up and heading onto the race course. With the command of racers ready coming from the day's MC, Top Chef, Jocelyn immediately straight armed Monte to win the sprint to the bat.Meanwhile the intelligent racers grabbed their beers

Transition Chugwith C-Dubs finishing his Dale's first and heading out onto the course.

Landshark Off In The LeadMeanwhile back at the bat Monte finished up and after coming off the bat veered sharply off to the right before a crash and burn in the snow. This was followed by a bit of stumbling around in confusion before finally locating his bike and heading out almost a lap down to the drinkers. The rest of the non drinkers did not fair all that much better.
Shop Sidekick Comes Off The Bat And Right Onto The GroundOut on the race course it was Senor Agua taking the lead from the Landshark and showing skills that only a free range totally organic chicken could possess - opening each lap's beer with a beek.
Beer StopMonte Showing His Form On The Bat

The Landshark "Fins" His Bike For The Barrier SectionAs the alcohol flowed and the snow balls flew everyone lost count of the laps and the race disintegrated into a free for all with Friar Rossi (aka 3 beer) well over the limit and tackling riders all over the course.
By the time the last snow ball had been thrown and race beer chugged it was too close to call. If there was a reward for suffering the most it would have gone to Montelbano for the post race hangover from going around the bat some many times (that will teach you to come prepared to drink next year). Mike was heard mumbling something about the SM100 being less painful.
Monte Sporting The Post Non Race Hangover2009 Beer Cross Group ShotFinally the judges came from their chambers with results in hand. 1st Senor Agua, 2nd Braveheart, 3rd The Mayor, 4th Friar Rossi. And here is the post non race podium interview.