Darkhorse Gallop - Guppies Gone Wild

It might not have rained for 40 days and 40 nights but there has been rain for 50 of the last 67 days. That meant the normally "smooth as a Brazilian bikini wax" trails of Stewart were going to be bordering on a complete mud bog and mayhem would surely ensue. Conditions were so tough that during a pre race check of the course Hawaiian Mike repeatedly lost his footing on a section of Skip & Bill's and came up covered from head to toe but was still all smiles because he didn't spill a drop of beer.
Being another "home race" the entire Darkhorse Racing team held a mandatory pre race meeting at the team headquarters where race strategy was planned and the final pounds were shed to guarantee speed on the course. Recent stories in the sports sections have noted that Real Madrid had recently paid 130 million for the rights to Ronaldo. After reading this the Mayor chuckled and was heard to comment how it only cost him a six pack of Stone IPA to obtain the services of C-Dubs from the IF crew. With contracts still being finalized and marketing rights being ironed out C-Dubs was forced to race incognito for this round as Pee Wee Herman,but was all smiles when he learned that Hawaiian Mike had a secret stash of Brooklyn Lager in the truck for post race festivities (being the wily old Mayor the keg remained untapped until C-Dubs and 650B had hit the course). Having done in my back in a big way last week at the Stoopid 50 I opted for the complete sandbagger approach and entered the sport wrist snapping class to have a fun ride with Rossi and wreck havoc on the trails.
It didn't take long, with a attempt to "pants" or master of ceremonies, Hawaiian Mike, in front of the ladies class and then with the start of the singlespeeds we let the field speed off before asking if it was time to start. Casual banter ruled the opening prologue but as the mud deepened and the going got tough Rossi began to fade off the back and by the time he came out of the woods he had a look of pure guppy -
Soon after it was the to the high point of the course on Major Mike (usually one of the driest sections) and it looked like this -
and if you think these conditions were bad the river crossing were running so deep that the Navy Seals, returning the favor after Darkhorse Racing broke up the terrorists ring in Stewart, volunteered to assist riders with the river crossings - For Rossi the pain and suffering was only to get worse as at one point on the course riders were coming out of the trail and commenting on the crazed looking rider squatting in the bush with a boulder in his hands (aka C-Dubs)at one of the big mud holes laying in wait for Tom. The attempt failed to make a dent in the overall mud covering and it was back to riding for the finish. With so many troops on the course the Darkhorse Racing team had men and women streaming over the line like lemmings over a cliff and placing several (Walter & Bobbie) in the top 10. One look at Top Chef and our soon to be newest member Griff tells you how much fun all the men had on father's day!