Is This The Confirmation That The Dinosaurs Are Extinct?

Well fellow devotees of the big wheels, you might recall one of my past writing about the extinction of dinosaurs such as the 650B our beloved Infantile Tom likes to ride (despite a limited selection of forks, wheels & tires). So enamored is Tom with it's quirkiness, he has often been seen shedding tears of happiness after a venture through the trails of Stewart, and as more beers are consumed he willingly spews countless virtues of it's superiority to big wheels (kind of like a less endowed guy claiming size doesn't matter).
Rumors are running rampant through the region that Infantile Tom's beloved Vicious Cycles frame has incurred the dreaded headtube crack and while we feared the worst might have befallen our dear friendwe were relived to know that he was safely back at the shop pitching tents and generally f*#king off in the stock room.
The ability to save the patient is in question as Vicious Cycles founder, Carl, has disappeared off the face of the planet. Our search for him on the Internet did came up empty and eventually we were directed to the US Consumer Product Safety Commission where we found this drawing.Completely distraught over the potential loss of his dear 650B, the NECS did what any good friend would do and directed him to Newburgh's local shop that would have the expertise to make the repairsbut due to the recent fallout between Paul and Paul Jr. there is speculation that the frame has been cut in half with each side taking a piece and is a central point of the pending lawsuit between OCC & Paul Jr. Designs. Stay tuned to the Discovery Channel for more details as this exciting story unfolds.

MFXC - Time To Rumble

With SSAP in the books it's time to head to the great Midwest, land of Budweiser and PBR for some serious ass kicking, wrist snapping fun. We'll have almost as much fun as Steven.

Singlespeed-a-Palooza (aka) Monte-a-Palooza

Well my dear fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, after an aborted start to the season that saw all of us bail on the Tour of the Battenkill this weekend we finally kicked it off and in style. The Mayor and Raveinator had spent the past week prepping the woods for Singlepseed-a-Palooza, perhaps the largest gathering of wrist snappers on the East Coast. Having suffered through SSUSA, the Mayor was as determined as ever to ensure that on one came away from SSAP in anything less then full shattered mode. The course, having undergone minor revisions when a early preview ride left yours truly heading for the parking lot early and a number of the other riders in a state of shock by the time one lap was over, turned into another mudfest (recall this event)- when once again it rained on the Mayor's parade and close to 2" of rain was put down on the course in under 10 hours resulting inRace morning dawned cool but sunny with the inner circle of the New East Coast Syndicate/MRC gathered around the FJ assault vehicle for a prerace round of egg rolls and green tea.
Top Chef/Code 420 The Beloved Braveheart Yours truly (sporting the special edition number plate) Of course this being a singlespeed race meant one thing was certain, C-Dubs would be riding his trusty steel IF with a flask full of Del Maguay mounted to the frame. As the synergy of the impending race spread through the parking the NECS was pulled from all corners by a mysterious vortex to a central location to pay homage to the Mayor and the great god of agave.
Then there was a man on a mission, 2 time defending champion Mike "Monte" Montalbano, my feared and revered teammate from the 628 challenge and he was prowling the grounds like a cougar circling for the kill, sizing up the competition and getting the game face on. Well this was the last we would see of good old Monte until the post race party. Lining up for the start Braveheart and I made the decision that the race for last place and the case of Terrapin Moo Hoo was to be ours and ours alone so when the gun went off we slowly rolled off the line just in time for the start of the women's division. By the time we entered the woods Braveheart and I were in the mix for DFL but still had to let a few of the ladies slip past which was easily accomplished as we passed through the start/finish area and took our first Del Maguay/PBR break. I mean the first 2 miles of a race can be pretty brutal and really work up one's thirst.
Going into the woods for the run up Scoffield (aka The Trail From Hell) we were able to get a taste of (literally) what was in store for the day. The long climb up was pure mud bog and, still being in a somewhat coherent state of mind, I did the smart thing and got off and walked. This was the last I would see of Braveheart until a PBR was passed my way in the finish area. My vision quest to finish last and take home the Terrapin required me to hone my trackstand skills as the pace at the back often made me feel like I was going in reverse. About a mile from the end of the first lap there was a red blur and I almost dove for cover in the woods fearing an attack from Muslim radicals with RPGs.Turned out it was good old Monte putting a real big hurt on the field and it took almost 5 minutes before DJ Birch passed me right at the finish line. At the top of the climb DJ gave a nod and commented to me on what a race it had been. I merely turned, pulled a fresh draft from the keg and responded "yeah and now for my second lap, trying to finish last is tough". As I rode off, beer in hand, he was still standing there, mouth agape, trying to comprehend what C-Dubs had just spewed from his pie hole. Out on the second lap it was more of the same, walk, trackstand, drink from the flask then ride. Coming up to the final two miles I caught up to a guy that had been riding the entire second lap with a wheel that was tacoed so badly it had rubbed all of the anodizing off the inside of his Lefty (good thing it wasn't a carbon sl!). I really felt pretty pathetic trying to stay behind this one but with 23 miles in the books in last I wasn't about to give it up like a drunk girl on prom night (easily)even though he truly deserved it for such an effort. The final section of singletrack had perhaps the best waterhole of the day and I stopped at the top set up for the photo shoot.And believe me there were plenty more of these on the trail that day.
Now you have to ask why is this man smiling? (he thinks the was last and had won a case of Terrapin, only he wasn't)So ends another mudfest at Stewart and now it is off to St. Louis for MFXC non race.

Non Tour Of The Battenkill

Yes my good friends and loyalistas of the New East Coast Syndicate, it is that time of the year we all wait for with great anticipation. Springtime and warmer temps while being one of them is not what I had in mind, rather it is the official start of the season and the spring classics.
While the pros in Europe have been battling it out at the great classics such as Milan-San Remo, Gent-Wevelgem and the Tour of Flanders, we too have been doling out the pain with our own (at least in our minds) classics. Among these are the Chinaman 100, that ends with spectacular explosions on the famed climb of the Mur de Hopheads. This features a leg snapping climb at the finish with a profile Phil Ligget has referred to as "my favorite pub stool", and it's super steep finishing ascent (with a final pitch of close to 85 degrees) that has been known to make many a rider collapse face first after draining the winners coveted crystal stein.So brutal is this race that only two riders dared to take on it's challenge this year.
And no one takes on the Darkhorse-Peekamoose-Darkhorse with any less respect. The gradients of the climbs might be significantly lower but the backwoods pave will test even the best wheelsets and rider's mechanical skills while the shotgun toting, moonshine swilling locals that line the gradual slopes of the Peekamoose climbmake for close racing in the peleton. Riders treat this climb with special respect as getting spit out the back of the caravan could lead to a life of slavery cutting wood and man servicing toothless hags that defy the logic of even the most serious beer goggles. Past years have seen the winning attacks launched from as far out as 45k as riders fuel up at the famous espresso bar Jack & Luna's but the backside up the Alp d'Minnewaska is where the field is typically shattered and the sprinters relegated to the back of the pack.
This weekend it was time for not only Paris-Roubaix but The Tour of the Battenkill, upstate New York's answer to the elitism of the Euro cycling scene. Rolling up the line for this year's classic would be NECS team of Muttonchops, Bill the Lobster, Senor Aqua (fresh off another crushing victory at Beer Cross), Top Chef, C-Dubs, Infantile Tom and Braveheart (who was considered the hands down fastest descender this year). The organizers, in battles with the UCI and USA Cycling over the participation of Pro Continental and ProTeams, ended up moving the race from it's traditional Saturday pre Paris-Roubaix slot to Sunday and direct competition with the UCI calendar. Immediately upon this announcement Braveheart threw his Lampre kit in the face of Director Sportif, Giuseppe Martinelli, declaring "take your Euros and shove them, I am going back to the good old US of A for some real racing".
With the starting gun fired the team immediately went to the front, turned up the burners and let the rest of the peleton know that if you want to be in contention on this one you better have a ticket for a ride on the pain train. Crossing the fabled covered bridge and approaching the opening climb Top Chef moved to the front and set tempo up the climb, towing the rest of the NECS over the top. The rest of the field was shattering with tongues hanging out like dogs ready to lick some, well you know what, and the pain train whistle blowing. Through the rolling sections the NECS put on a virtual clinic in team time trailing with pulls being shared by all and the pace leaving the smell of melting clinchers for the rest of the field to enjoy. With a sizable gap on the field established the pace was throttled back as we went through the feed zone and fueled up for upstate New York's version of pave - unpaved, pothole riddled back roads. During one of the longer descents Braveheart moved to the front and demonstrated his skills at mastering the Newtonian theory of gravity, stringing the entire team out in a 70kpm snake down the mountain. Senor Agua and Muttonchops moved to the front and provided the leadership as we scrambled over the rollers leading up to the final climb of the race. At the base Top Chef once again moved to the front and set the tempo with the entire team riding nose to tail. On the final descent to into the finishing town of Battenkill it was Issac Braveheart Newton moving clear of the rest with unparalled skills on the descent. Rounding the final corner it was going to any ones race to win and as I dropped a gear and zipped up the jersey to prepare for the finishing sprint and a shot a glory suddenly it all went wrong and the alarm clock went off letting me know it was time to get to the chores around the house.
The moral of the story - slotting such a powerhouse team into one of the latest starting time slots, driving 4 hours up racing 3 hours and driving 4 hours back to the city and hitting the sack after 10 pm on a Sunday made about as much sense as this.Intelligent minds prevailed and we bagged the race and spent the weekend getting in some equally kickass riding and were able to relax and enjoy the 2 days off from work.

NECS/MRC Non Race # 1 - Chinaman 100

With the winter blues finally coming to a close and Frosty the snowman making his final appearance for this winterthe founding fathers of the MRC answered the call of spring with the only thing an organization of such power and magnitude could possibly consider - Non Race #1 - The Chinaman 100.
With a slight chill in the air and our significant others out on the MRC/Chick Division ride, Top Chef and I donned the requisite gear of leg warmers, insulated gloves, booties and chop sticks for an all out assault on Sampsonville Road and the famed Minneswaska grinder (as opposed to the even more infamous Alp d'Minnewaska). Rolling out of the church parking lot we were charged by this crazed looking creature which we managed to avoid right before it exploded into a ball of fire, smoking reindeer pelt and a few choice tenderloins.Apparently, in a response to the NECS breakup of the Islamic terrorist ring at Stewart, NECS Breaks Up Terrorist Ring At Stewart, the freaky looking Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi had dispatched a battalion of suicide reindeer to put a hit on Top Chef and C-Dubs. With the ride heading into the backwoods of Kerhonkson we were going to have our game face on to survive the onslaught of attacks that were sure to come. By the time we descended off Sampsonville the only scare came from a nice gust of wind that threatened to send the S.S. C-Dubs and the now infamous ENVE sails for a bit of off road action but a superior attitude and superior state of mind kept me upright and powering to our first break of the day.
The cool conditions were taking their toll on us and by the 25 mile mark, with no espresso shop in sight, we stopped at an abandon diner where we fortified our mental prowess with a dose of tiger blood and goji berries. A few minutes were spent contemplating the viability of tossing the towel in at work and setting up a bike/espresso/craft beer stop - then fond memories of Stupid F*#king Customer IPA came to mind and we were off for the first round of espresso before the day's big climb.
Jacked up on a double and with 35 miles in the books we hit the base of Minnewaska and agreed there would be no hammering on this one, too early in the season. Well my good friends, being thoughtful and courteous cyclists, we stopped to assist a lost motorist. Seems our motorist was not your run of the mill leaf watcher out to see the state parks, rather our motorist was, shall we say, one that likes to hang with his homeys and was waiving an envelope with the local prison address on it in a desperate attempt to hookup with his leaderwhile his girl (complete with mustache) was in the car polishing something bright and silver.For those that don't know the region, Newburgh is home to some serious Latino gangs and wearing the IF kit with this logo clearly displayedyou can imagine that my primary concern was not the climb ahead but what his gang affiliation was. While I nervously tried to keep the situation calm Top Chef was circling in the background running a check on the plates and marking Maria to make sure she didn't pull a MAC 10 on us (considering each of our bikes was worth more then his car this was a legitimate concern). I must have been wearing the right "colors" as cooler heads prevailed and we sent him to a place with a familiar name, the Vallejo station.
It was really becoming a very bizarre day, exploding reindeer, gang bangers lost, looking for prison, what else could happen? Well loyal fans plenty more and it came not a 1/2 mile up the road when we entered the twilight zone, were momentarily sent to the future where we came upon good old George Zubalsky pushing his bike up the climbFurther up the climb I could only look on in envy as Top Chef showed the advantages of not only 11 speed Campi but also those (at the time sexier then a pinup girl) compact chain rings. My friends I can assure you that the entire time I was out of the saddle with spittle flying old TC was spinning up the climb like a nun on the way to Sunday school. At least on the descent I would have the bigger gears to power away, but I also had the bigger wheels and thus watched TC disappear like a setting sun on the descent while I held on for dear life. In fact it was so hairy that I had to stop by the farm stand and towel off all of the sweat pouring off of me.
Team MRC Pimp Rides - After this, in a state of eternal bliss, we cruised the west banks of the Wallkill until we hit Rosendale. From there it was a short spin to High Falls for the final espresso of the day. Along this stretch I must have really gotten into the zone taking a long pull at the front, only problem was I had no idea what was going on, totally spaced out and kept forgetting to point out the rough sections to TC. Having had enough TC took the lead and, excited about the looming espresso station, dropped it down a gear for the final climb and dam near forgot to keep pedaling. It was only C-Dubs coming along side and the prospect of more pothole carnage that snapped him out of this stupor.
Finally we pulled into High Falls and the final double espresso.mmmm munchieswhere Top Chef engaged our server, Ming Li, in deep conversation.It was during this time that she revealed the greatest secret known to man kind, where to find Shangri-La. And find it we did as we made the turn for home. Like a thunderstorm when the air is electrified and smelling of ozone, the air in High Falls was equally sweet and electric but had a distinct smell of hops. Like Hillary and Everest or Shackelton and the South Pole, we truly had discovered Shangri-La.When it was all said and done we had to agree that this t-shirt really captured the spirit of the season's first Non Race.

Toasted

No I don't mean thisor thisor thisor even thisWhat I am talking about is this, Texas Toast Ti Seven, Top Chef style.
Sweet customer forkEven sweeter Campi Record 11 speed hooked up to Reynolds 35 carbon clinchersThe finished product

Lampre Signs NECS Rider!!!!!

The recent onslaught of winter training has left several of the top European pro teams concerned about thier abilities to compete with the Dark Horse Cycles team in the Cat 5 45+ group at the upcoming Tour of the Battenkill.
Having witnessed the superior attitude and superior state of mind C-Dubs achieved during his guppy laden performance under the tutelage of Monte at the 628 challenge, a number of team members have taken up the torch (and this winter the snow shovel) and are training Monte style in the early season. Having scorched the roads of Ulster and Sullivan counties with more miles then a Tour de France, the word among the top director sportifs is that Dark Horse Cat 5 riders are a force to be reckoned with and you should pull out all the stops to sign them.
Absent from the winter training has been Top Chef (boot camp training), C-Dubs (doing his impersonation of a gerbil on the wheel with his rollers) and Braveheart (in super secret European training with Jan Ullrich).
Well it turns out that Lampre has made the first move and signed Braveheart to a spring race deal. Our stealth reports in Europe caught this shot of Braveheart after another "training" session with Jan at the local éclair shop.

Cosmetic Surgery NECS/MRC Style

We here at the NECS/MCR tend to get bored during the winter months with all of the snow and cold weather. Past years have seen the focus on building new bikes for the coming season but this year we decided the time was right for a bit of cosmetic surgery and a bit of augmentation. No not this kindbut this kindThink of this pair as the double d's of road wheels. Sure there will be times they are a pain in the ass but they sure look great!
The project started out with an inspection and repaint from the gang at IF, laying on the coats of Thahitian Pearl so sweet that in sun the color flips from black to deep blue/green. This was finished off with silver decals, the combination a result of a consultation with Top Chef, the team's artistic genius. (Here is a shot of TC's freshly repainted "Texas Toast" Seven awaiting the upgrade to Campi 11 speed)Next up it was SRAM Red, but once the Mayor had the ceramic bb on there was a problem, not enough pop, so back into the spare parts box it went and right out of the showcase came the silver Chris King BB and to pull it all together a silver King headset and Thomson seatpost collar.With the components on we caught this shot of the Mayor making the final adjustments to the drops after setting up the Gore RideOn cables.Finally the finished productI can't wait for the warmer weather to find out if it is harder to ride in the wind with a pair of theseor tie your shoes with a pair of these

NECS Exclusive - First Interview With The Mayor (Sans Kegerator)

With the sun setting over the Nile and the Koranic verses coming from the minarets around Cairo, there was a news flash of such magnitude that news crews immediately headed for Cairo International Airport for the next flight to Newburgh. Using years of experience honed in Afghanistan, NECS freelance reporter Christine Amanpour pulled out her silver plated AK-47 (a gift from Hamid Karzi), held the rest of the investigative reporters at bay and landed this exclusive interview with the Mayor -

C.A. - Mr. Mayor,

Mayor - Christine you can drop the Mister part, like a supermodel I go by one name - Mayor!

C.A. - Sorry about that Mayor. Getting back to the important matters at hand. The recent protests in Cairo and Tunisia, what impact do you see this having both globally and for Dark Horse.

Mayor - Well old Hosni is learning what I have known for years, you can only suppress the masses for so long and then they rebel. Unless of course you have the massive dictatorial powers I have - the bike shop - then they are like putty in your hands. Globally, once the masses take over, since they are poor there is no way they will be driving, unless you are the lucky first 100 to get into the palace garage and steal one of the Bentleys. Therefore they will learn what the Chinese and Dutch have known for a long time, bikes rule. To position DH Cycles for the onslaught of demand I have secured the next 5 years of production from Taiwan and through my connections at Al-Jazeera have set up a web based distribution network to cover the sub Saharan and Middle Eastern markets.

C.A. - Dark Horse, at first sight appears to be a modest operation, fully capable of handling the demands for roadies and mountain bikers from the region. How do you plan to ramp up operations for such a global project?

Mayor - Two words - Raveinator & Coffee. Combine these two and you have more power then a 3 megaton thermonuclear device.

C.A. - But is a wired up Raveinator all you need, how will the shop handle the volume of assembly?

Mayor - Well Christine, it was a tough decision but it came down to bikes or booze and in a moment of delirium I picked bikes and tossed the kegerator out the back door. Right now with the cold weather it isn't an issue, put'em in the snow in the morning and they are ready for consumption later in the day. Now later in the year I could be singing the blues but I live for the moment. Speaking of which, hey Raveinator can you get me a beer. Besides the kegerator has a great new home with Top Chef.

C.A. - Is there any truth to the rumors that DH Racing will adopt an Islamic influence, giving up alcohol and having women riders in burkas?

Mayor - Yeah right, give up alcohol! What drugs are you doing? As for the burka thing well that could be a bit more interesting, it will add a bit of mystery to the team and we could even sneak a ringer into the women's class. Speaking of giving up alcohol, hey Raveinator, can you make sure that kegerator gives up another beer to me ASAP. I don't want to see anything extra in that six barrel by the time this interview is over. Hey Christine, you prefer a regular or pint glass?

Economic Recovery Spurs Crisis At Dark Horse Cycles

It has been a very trying couple of years for our country. Everyone, well most everyone, has had to tighten the belts and pull back from using the house as a piggy bank to fund a lifestyle. Well in the words of Bob Dylan, the times they are a changin' and for some of us that might not be a such a great thing while for others it is a really good thing.
Over the years everyone become callous to various comments made, after all talk has is, has and always will be cheap. But today my good friends, I was caught completely off guard - on several fronts. Our spiritual guru and guiding light, the Mayor, was back from a recent trip to the sunny desert of Arizona for a bit of racing. Seems our good Mayor was hit with a bad case of the flat tire blues, loosing his first to a cactus needle and the second to a faulty tube. Then, in a way that was almost so subtle you could easily miss it, the Mayor mentioned that "if I had only used Stan's". Now these words are right up there with a Republican saying "sure, it's time to hike taxes on the rich" or a Democrat saying "let's cut spending on social programs and go with a flat tax", things so sacred people never thought they would ever be uttered.
Then in the interests of the ever expanding business at Dark Horse, the Mayor came out with the phrase no one would have ever bet against. Seems with the increasing volumes of business, the Mayoral one has had his hands full fixing and assembling bikes. Despite the brand new shop it was already time for an expansion in the work area. Then out they came, with almost the same relaxed attitude as Stan's, the words we all thought could not be spoken - "the kegerator is gone, I needed more room in the shop". I mean what the hell is he thinking, get rid of the kegerator to make room for work, clearly the Mayor was still suffering from a severe case of Arizona sunstroke. Our crack reporter will be back with an exclusive interview with the Mayor.

Saturday Snow Shoveling Shit Show

Old Chinese proverb - He who has flat roofed house shovel lots of snow. And how true, today was another marathon session totaling 6:38 of shovel time followed with spreading 1000lbs of salt and loading/unloading a resupply of 600lbs.
It was this depth over 2400 sq ft
And it made a pile this high after I cleared the man cave roof
Then I did what any sane person would - finished it off with an Oxycodine (yes it is my scrip) washed down with a shot of Del Maguey and finished off with a Corona. Finally after an hour I am beginning to get a bit numb.

New East Coast Syndicate Under Investigation By WADA/Novitsky For Doping

A U.S. federal probe into doping in cycling involving C-Dubs former team, The New East Coast Syndicate, may be slowed by legal hurdles in pursuing the inquiry in Amsterdam, sports lawyers said.
Former rider Raveinator is among three Dark Horse racers who knew the inside of the NECS team led by C-Dubs who said they haven’t been questioned by investigators now focused on American witnesses.
Jeff Novitzky, a Food and Drug Administration special agent, interviewed ex-rider Hawaiian Mike, according to Mikesquatch's wife, Mistress Betsy.
“It will be very difficult to get an arrest warrant” outside the U.S. because in Amsterdam doping isn’t seen as a serious crime but rather a social event, Ingmar Dogman, chairman of the Netherlands Association for Sport and Law, said from his favorite coffee shop, De Dampkring. “They can always ask to talk to waitress but there’s no legal obligation.”
Floyd Landis, stripped of his 2006 Tour de France title for doping, said in a May 1 e-mail to USA Cycling Chief Executive Officer Bob O'Pedic that he saw C-Dubs engage in "extracurricular activities" outside his cabin at the Cohutta 100 in 2008. C-Dubs, 53, and the team’s sports director The Mayor, say Landis’s claims aren’t credible. They deny any wrongdoing.
When caught by reporters leaving the Hip Preservation Center at the Hospital for Special Surgery, C-Dubs was evasive when questioned what procedure he was involved in. A subsequent search of the medical disposal bin turned up several syringes with DNA matches to C-Dubs. Under further questioning by Agent Novitsky, C-Dubs insisted that he is only being treated for a hip condition and has not failed any drug tests and when confronted with evidence of a cortisone steroid residue on in the syringe he responded "I have never knowingly taking performance enhancing drugs". Asked to explain why he no longer had a slight limp C-Dubs simply snapped "shoe lifts for men" and stormed off to the waiting stretch limo.

You can bet this felt good going right into the hip joint!

Grand Fondo - MRC Non Race #1

The inaugural Gran Fondo MRC brings Italian cycling culture (yes you will see Top Chef on the new Campagnolo equipped Colnago) to the world's greatest group of riders on Saturday July 9, 2011.Join the Millionaire’s Riding Club on a challenging 100+ mile course from Sand Hill Road to the far reaches of Sullivan County and back in an experience fit for a pro and open only to those that hang with the Mayor. This unprofessionally managed event will feature the excitement of starting in Gardiner, at least four climbs with KOM large format IPAs to the winner of each, beautiful scenery, charming towns and the camaraderie of group cycling. Gran Fondo MRC is an Official Qualifier for 2011 Beer Cross (but participation is not mandatory to qualify for Beer Cross).

Background: Gran Fondo is a challenging, 100+ mile bike race, a concept stemming from Italy. You can think of it as a marathon on bicycles. At Dark Horse NY, there are long-course bike rides, singlespeed-a-paloozas, and 40 mile trail races. Here is where Gran Fondo MRC is different: it is a long-distance challenging ride that appeals to competitive racers and beer swilling cyclists alike. In Italy, a Gran Fondo has 1,000 to 10,000 participants, covers at least 100 miles and goes over challenging terrain. In France and the UK, this style of racing is known as cyclosportives.

Course: The undulating terrain of the course will challenge participants’ strength and stamina with at least 5,000ft/1,524m of climbing. The Gran Fondo MRC course will take participants from Gardiner to Kerhonkson, around the Roundout Reservoir and into the stunning mountains of Sullivan County. After arriving at the Ashokan Reservoir riders will break at one of Top Chef’s favorite haunts for lunch and espresso before tackling the steep side of Peekamoose and finishing off with climb to the Minnewaska State Park entrance. The five-mile climb up 44/55 will serve as the final big climb and make you realize that you have survived. After the high speed descent, riders will regroup and bring it home to Casa de C-Dubs for a well earned BBQ and cold beers.

UCI World Beer Cross World Championship Qualification: Four challenging climbs will count towards the King of Mountain competition and the UCI Amateur Beer Cross World Championship qualification. The top 10% of each Age Group will qualify for the 2011 UWCT World Championship in Belgium.

There is no timing or competition over the whole course. However, athletes have to complete the full course to be eligible for prizes and Beer Cross World Championship Qualification. Race your hearts and guts out on the climbs but enjoy the rest of the ride in international company.

Support: Yellow MAVIC cars will not offer technical support on the course and instead will be supporting the Tour de France. In fact you might get more support from a used jockstrap then you will from the MRC, but hey we're all friends so everyone helps everyone or we slash your tires. At each espresso stop, there will be food, drink, portapotty (that means the bushes). Volunteers will be present on the course at any turn on the course to attempt to send you in the wrong direction. Volunteers on motorbikes will be circling the course as well, ready and push you over and blast exhaust at you on the steepest pitches. Along the route, participants will not enjoy well-stocked rest stops (since there aren’t any). A great post-race party will await participants (would you expect anything less from the NECS) at the finish line. Not feeling it on the day? We won’t have SAG vehicles so suck it up and ride your sorry ass to the finish line like the rest of the peleton.

Prizes: Winners of each of the KOM climb will receive a special large format IPA or growler. The overall KOM will ride home on a new CIPOLLINI PODESTA road bike (yeah right, you will ride home on you own bike, what do you think we are – RICH?). Other prizes may or may not include MAVIC racing wheels, used Sidi shoes, smelly Giro helmets, completely ass worn Specialized saddles and much, much more (mostly the old crap I can't sell). Additionally, raffle prizes will be distributed throughout the awards ceremony.

Entry Fee:The entry fee for each participant is a six pack of beer and some food for the post ride BBQ (we don’t ass rape you like those other Grand Fondos). Included in the entry fee is a custom NECS spoke card, which is mandatory for the event. The event goodie bag, "pacco gara" will contain various products from event sponsors. If you've registered but are unable to participate, you may transfer your spot to someone else for a $50,000 transfer fee by May 31, 2011. NECS fees and credit card processing fees are third party fees, Gran Fondo MRC is not responsible for third party fees.

Travel Booking: Gran Fondo MRC is working with travel agencies in Italy, Germany, UK, Ireland, Australia, France, Spain, Bermuda, South Africa and Toronto. Please check the Gran Fondo MRC blogsite for travel partners. All athletes have the option to register directly and handle their own travel. Or they can book their travel and registration through an official GFMRC travel partner in their region.

Team Competition: If you are cycling for a team in GFMRC, please make sure that each teammate writes the name of the team in the exact same way during the registration process to be easily matched up in our records. A team name can be a cycling team, a him+her team or a tandem bicycle. Tandem bicycle teams are not eligible for competition awards, in fact no teams are eligible for awards or welcome at our event.