FBI Enlists New East Coast Syndicate To Fight Terrorism

With news of the foiled New York terrorist plot sweeping the nation, we are now at liberty to reveal that the NECS has been working secretly with the FBI to secure the woods of Stewart State Forest and Stewart Airbase from the ravages of Islamic fundamenalists. Making use of the training skills procured in the CIA and at the local dojo, along with recent recruit Clem (see last post), the NECS has carefully been combing the trails keeping an eye out for terrorists posing as innocent families out for a mountain bike ride. We recently came upon this "family" and after a full body cavity strip search found timers, fuses, bundles of C4, a temple ball of harsh and maps of the Stewart airbase. After hours of waterboarding with PBRs and nonstop songs from Barney, the terrorists cried out for mercy and revealed the details for the New York City plot. Score one for the U S of A & NECS!

Federal agents were gushing with praise for the NECS/Darkhorse Cycles riders, pointing out that "without those beer swilling kooks it could have been another dark day for America". Soon after, Darkhorse Cycles was swarming with news crews and paparazzi where one interview with the Mayor and the New York Times was overheard -

NYT - "This is quite a story, how did you manage to pull this off?"

Mayor - "I train these boys real hard, so hard they can sniff out an unopened beer on the side of the trail from 50 yards"

NYT - "Amazing, how did you do it"

Mayor - "Shop Sidekick, pull me another draft. Oh yeah, from lots of post ride drinking. Everyone on the team has the ability to pick an IPA from a C4 bomb in a blind test. BURP. Shop, I need another draft. We also have weekly sessions at the dojo and kegerator reviewing the technigues of CIA masters such as Steven Seagal to ensure the woods are safe."

NYT - "Will this impact the participation in the upcoming Singlespeed-a-Palozza"

Mayor - "Not a chance, in fact within minutes of the story breaking the servers at BikeReg were overloaded with entries for the event. Anybody that is anybody in singlespeed riding now wants to roll with the big dogs."

NYT - "Is there anything we missed"

Mayor - "Yeah, your pint glass is stil 3/4 full, get on it man!"