It was as though the forces of nature knew what the mental state would be like for the Board of Directors and she presented us with this indicative weather.
Arriving at Casa de Top Chef the tone was being set for the day with a casual "cleaning of the chain" in the man cave, some minor bike adjustments and everyone suiting up for the days event. Arriving at the Ashokan, Paul LeTour was on point as the rest of us prepped for the coming day in the saddle. In these days of space age technology there was a lot of carbon that would be rolling that day, most likely of greater value then all of the cars we arrived in.
The roll out around the Ashokan presented us with cool, misty conditions and damp roads with wet leaves randomly scattered - conditions that had those with carbon rims thinking twice about the upcoming "descent into the bowels of the earth" from Hunter Mtn into Woodstock. Gliding into Phoenicia at the base of the day's 9 mile climb, bottles were filled, bladders were emptied at the Praise the Lord Port-o-Potty and the our Chief of IT prepared the Mirco G teleconference unit for the summit board meeting.
As soon as the landscape started to point up LeTour and Eyegor gapped the crowd and set a torrid pace on the lower slopes. To quote Forrest Gump, "stupid is as stupid does" and sure enough Top Chef and C-Dubbs showed just how stupid they were by trying to bridge the gap. Eventually caught it was a group of 5 charging up the slopes and while spacing out watching TC's wheel suddenly the derailleur dropped a gear and my taint puckered as the pace picked up to tarmac melting speed. Realizing just how stupid we were TC and C-Dubbs sat up and from behind there was a pleading "thank you" from our newest participant, Josh.
Opportunity presented itself and our trio pulled off to a side bridge for a view of the beautiful Yangtze river where we put our latest technology into action and held the very first MRC remote access board meeting with the directors from our Amsterdam division.
Fueled with excellent news we set off to the summit, man training along like a Cummins diesel until a fast descending LeTour appeared to deflate our spirits, letting us know he had already made the summit which was still 2 miles up the road.
With the major suffering out of the way we rolled through Tannersville and prepped for 5 miles of high speed descending pleasure. Topping out at over 44 mph the autumn air was filled with the smell of melting carbon as we held off car and motorcycle traffic on the plunge to the bottom where everyone regrouped, cleaned out their soiled chamois' and topped off at the Big Belly Deli for the run to Woodstock.
Conjuring up images of the great cult orators like these guys
C-Dubbs used the long, mind numbing stretch of Rte. 212 to preach the virtues and philosophy of the MRC and attempt to brainwash a few new riders to sell everything, contribute all of the money to the MRC and join the ranks of the chosen ones. Taking only a few miles and with fatigue setting in the trio of new riders drank the kool aid and signed on with the MRC, all we needed were names. This was quickly sorted for Eve who showed an ability to suck a wheel like a remora on a shark and thus was named our newest member - Remora.
Sucking a wheel always comes with a price and with C-Dubbs on the front feeling the hot breath of Remora on his back it was time for the Terry Tate Pain Train coming up to a slight rise that looks far easier then it really is. Dubbs dropped a gear, hopped out of the saddle and lit the fuse on Remora's lactic acid time bomb. Cresting the top Dubbs finally was able to cool the skin on his back right before it turned to third degree burns.
Back on 28 and scant miles from our saviour, Grace and the best espresso in the area, we pace lined over the rollers and into the parking lot for a social break, espressos, cappuccinos and iced teas (sans ice).
With everyone shaking from the doubles, we tackled the final 3 miles to the parking lot at full speed until the bike path where the engines shut down and we coasted to the parking lot and welcomed our 3 pledges into the secret society of the MRC.
With Remora (aka Eve) duly named it was decided that Derek, being nominated the MRC Ambassador to Surfing, would be named Dude which left us only with Josh to tag. Back at the Casa de Top Chef, the feast that only Top Chef can throw, was on with a grill full of steaks and salmon.
Our beloved Braveheart arrived with the Large Marge conference room and a flask full of Del Maguay Minero. The crew quickly lined up, loaded the plates, grabbed IPAs, wine and shot glasses and headed to the deck for sunset and some well deserved entertainment. With a bevy of desserts including a fantastic cheese cake and some form of round red Hostess Devil Dog - obviously a communist plot to infiltrate the MRC - Josh, having been in the man cave doing a significant amount of chain cleaning, cobbled together a Top Chef class dessert of cheesecake and Joseph Stalin Devil Dogs creating the Stoned Gibert and thus tagging himself to forever be known as Stoned Gibert.
It was about this time, after the Del Maguay made several rounds (with Remora putting on a great look with the first sip) that the party really picked up steam.
Dude went for a bit of PDA with Remora by fondling yon rack at which caused the sudden release of enough estrogen for every guy at the table to have sex reassignment therapy. The virtues of the Stoned Gibert ceased and a debate over cup size and cleavage began and suddenly it happened -
Only this was no walk off, it was the most feared competition of all, the tit off. Shirts were up, cleavage flashed and debate so heated it made the recent government shutdown debate seem like a playground argument. The echo meter was brought out to measure the best cleavage but it exploded from a freak of acoustical nature caused by the reverberations between the "Canyons of Cleveage" at the table, game over.
One take away from the night, our newest member Dude, is already cooking up his own non race, the Harriman Hookah 55 to be held in the early summer. Stay tuned for more details and MRC non racing news.
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