Operation Rapha

During a recent weekend get away with our asian cousin from Amsterdam, Mr Rifman, I managed to reach the end of the web. When I got there I had an epiphany and looked into the Rapha Gentlemen's Race in New Paltz. Well it was not to be, but there was one in the land where Washington led many a battle and river crossing - Trenton (what exit) NJ. Some quick research, a few secretive document passings from our contact at the Pentagon and we immersed the troops into an all out training program in preparation for our mission should the Executive Order come in.

Those of you familiar with the NECS philosophy, superior attitude/superior state of mind, know that we enjoy quality in cycling and quality in our partying. The Board of Directors have been known to warm the muscles with embrocation, flash a bit of Rapha clothing on the bike and even sport some of the haute couture available for everyday office wear.

Well we have scoured the ranks, run massive psychological interrogations and put each soldier through physical testing that could put the Seal BUDs course to shame, and all to ensure that we had the team that could pull off operation Rapha, that is should our application to the Rapha Gentlemen's Ride be accepted. You may ask just who are these men that are willing to risk life and limb to conquer the battlefields of Trenton in quest of the finish line, well these fine lads are the chosen few -

• Top Chef
• Infantile Tom
• C-Dubbs
• El Obamador
• Braveheart
• Paul Le Tour

Stay posted, to quote Phil Liggett, as we are "on the rivet" waiting to hear if the emperor of Rapha gives us the thumbs up or thumbs down.

Team Seagal R&D - Tire Education 101

Contrary to some opinions that the NECS merely a cesspool of jerkiness and mountain biking tomfoolery, our parent corporation, Team Seagal, has unleashed it's entire brain trust in a massive R&D program to educate the layman on just what choices one has in the rubber department - not this kind of rubber

but this kind of rubber.

Spearheading the effort is Nobel Prize winner and esteemed University of St. Louis tenured professor, Casey "Coach" Ryback. And here, for your reading and educational pleasure is Coach's master thesis - 

If you like to dork-out over some tire tech our Team Seagal test team (Scooter, Cockpunchor, Stove and Ttocs tested a shitload of tires over controlled conditions and rated them based on the results. I found some of the results very surprising, while some other results reinforced my already-held beliefs.

One not-very-surprising result that I noticed, was that the Crank Brothers tire with the cool anodization just fell apart and had to be warrantied after two test-runs.

The Campagnolo tire, regarded as the most beautiful tire, seemed to develop a better, more-supple, worn-in feel as the test went on - and it was also the only tire to have a user-replaceable bead and tread.

The Thomson Masterpiece tire showed absolutely no wear whatsoever, with the test-rider Friedrich noting that he expected that tire to outlast several wheels and frames.

The newcomer to the market, the Rivendell tire, a gumwall, was the only tire to actually utilize full steel-belting, despite weighing 13 pounds per tire. But as Grant Peterson said, "Steel is the only real material," and that only those racers on carbon race bikes need tires with cotton or nylon casings. The Rivendell tire was also the only tire to make it all the way to the "AR-15 rifle" stage of the puncture-resistance test, however the results are somewhat skewed as it is only available in a 650b size and therefore doesn't compare equally to the 700c size of the rest of the test tires. Mr. Peterson, in response to complaints about the extra weight of the steel belting, said he would consider producing a tires with a wool or even a tweed casing.

Cervelo's tire was unable to be tested, as it was delivered with severe cracking due to premature dry-rot, thus rendering it unsafe to ride.

The tire from Cannondale showcased a revolutionary and proprietary design that utilized a series of integrated needle bearings all around the tread, and actually surpassed all other tires in rolling resistance, however it only worked on Cannondale-branded rims, and the process to change the tire proved to be needlessly complex, requiring a proprietary tools and a Cannondale dealer to do the work.

Quintana Roo's tire seemed to provide better performance in wet conditions, specifically if those wet conditions were as a result of puddles of urine - so for the QR test, they set the test track up in the men's urine-trough at the nearby ballpark.

Neither the THM or Cipollini tires were able to be tested. We couldn't afford to get a hold of the THM tires for the test, and testers all agreed that they weren't cool enough to even get close to the Cipollini tires.

Freedom/Back In The Saddle

Finally at long last I am free from the tether from my arm to my heart. This past weekend the IV was pulled, I am well along on the road to recovery (but not done yet by any stretch of the imagination), and the MRC opened the riding season with our board of directors ride.
With Top Chef recovering from the waistline chinaman, Braveheart in deep on the Conceptual front and your truly finally beating down the nasty bacteria ravaging my body we celebrated with a leisurely tour of the Ashokan Reservoir, one of our favorite rides. Here are a few shots to start the year -

The annual Board of Directors meeting at Bread Alone

The traditional mid ride double espresso

Wiley E. Coyote taking a nap

Braveheart gives the hello salute