Team Towelie (Braveheart, Top Chef & C-Dubs), the special ops unit of the NECS, have received deployment orders from the WADA for this weekend to commence Operation Space Cake. Disguised as regular tourists they will be heading to Continental Europe with the LZ insertion point being Amsterdam.Due to the evolution of riders from these gentlemen of old that would share a bottle with a competitor, carry and change their own flats and pop an occasional amphetamine to make it up the next big climb
to these modern day road warriors that sneak off to special blood clinics, inject EPO/CERA and slather their balls in testosterone cream.
The mission's objective is to recon all coffee shops in the city, weed out any racers in the Giro d'Italia, and determine if they are involved in pharmacology experimentation, either for recreational or performance enhancement, and determine if their performance enhancement is merely due to superior training techniques, pharmacology experimentation or is there something more to their biological passports?We will be targeting two specific groups of riders -
Performance Enhancing
Yes even a vampire would be feeling good with all that EPO and transfused blood flowing through it's veins.Recreational/Lifestyle Usage
As you can see from this shot, "Eight Ball" Tom Boonen has confused the Paris-Roubaix cobblestone with a block of wicked Peruvian flake and is trying to snort a line.Of course to blend in with the crowds we consume copious amounts of coffee and make use of the favorite Dutch (and our own) mode of transportation - the bicycle. There are hazards associated with this tactic - loss of focus on the mission at hand due to too many of these riding around
and of course the famed death trains - Amsterdam's uber silent trolleys.
Once you hear the bell it is all over, which is why we intend to do as little riding as possible and instead kick back on the coffee barges like the rest of the Giro peleton
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