Singlespeed-a-Palooza Number Plates

In the interest of all the recent green initiatives we here at the NECS/Darkhorse Racing Cycles have come up with a new, greener number plate for the Singlespeed-a-Palooza. This test model does not have all the details (racer number and picture) but we are searching the dumps of Stewart to find the nastiest, dirtiest thongs (Pleasure Island, our local flesh factory, has been able to provide the greatest quantity of number plates.) For this race Johns will be linked to customer thongs and beers at the halfway point are mandatory.
Anyhow this beauty was test run over the length of the course with Sal's only comment "it was a bit snug fitting, can you get me a large".

Summer of Love

Well loyal fans (Nico/Casey where have you been?) this weekend finally saw and end to the winter time blues and the sub 30 degree single speed rides. Here at the NECS when the seasons change it comes in like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist and this weekend we saw temps sitting a full 50 degrees above last weekends trash fest with ideal riding in the upper 80s.
With conditions like these there was no doubt that the troops would be out in full force. with some even being lured to the site with promises of early morning C-Dubs power snacks! But to no avail those in the know didn't show, Top Chef was still too bloated from the recent hernia surgery, and of course Hawaiian Mike was in rare winter training form as seem from this top secret shot.

Never one to miss a ride, the Mayor, despite severe respritory aliments, managed to procure a Sunday pass from the State TB Ward (with backup documentation confirming it was not a case of the Swine Flu) and was able to hack up a lung cookie or two during the ride.

And just to reassure all that the new world order is still intact the Mayor showed his uncanny ability to call the shots out on the course, even from the back of the pack. As a result of this we all had to be on the look out for Tom/Sven/Ingamar/Pedro Rossi whose favorite past time is to lurk back and wait for the waterhole before coming in full bore and giving someone (usually C-Dubs) the big mud shower.

Well this weekend, despite having some patented C-Dubs power bars before the ride, I was able to keep the old fart at bay for most of the ride and it wasn't until he sprinted ahead on the fireroad that the payback came. With Rossi a 100 yards up the road the Mayor made the call "RIGHT" and off we went into Skip & Bill's, another sweet section of single track with a nice bridge. With Aikido like skills I dumped the bike and found the largest, flattest rock so when Rossi came to the bridge it was in mid flight and hit in a manner that put up a geyser similar to this.

Needless to say Rossi was a bit wet and in good humor over the entire prank - but at what cost to me in Moab I have to ask?
Finally back in the parking lot while having our fourth round of double IPAs, we were wondering about our ability to navigate our way home. Right about this time Sal whipped up the shirt and noted that he always keeps a map of the home state handy for just such an emergency. The only question we all had is where is the star showing the exit you live at - a major faux pau when tattooing your home state on the body.

Curb Your Appetite

To ensure that all guests at Casa de C-Dubs do not suffer the same fate as Top Chef (face down on the couch at 2 am with the bib shorts still on) we have decided to issue these Hannibal Wurster masks to limit the intake of fine wine and recovery bars.

Stewart State Forest Gives Up Her Dead

When one is presented with the opportunity to use 6000+ acres of state forest for riding and to have virtually no restrictions on adding new trails at will, you like to make sure the mountain bike community is doing it's part to maintain this slice of Nirvana.
This past Sunday was designated by the DEC as clean up day for the state forest. Aarmed with our beat up pickups, propane grill, meat and of course copious amounts of the finest yeasty malted beverages, the NECS & Darkhorse Cycles race team set off on a mission to clean the trails.
What we learned from this archiealogical expedition is the following - hunters like beer, lots of beer, and they seem to favor the mini Budweiser bottles and an occasional Old Style. The mountain bikers seem to lean towards Corona and Sam Adams and the horsey set, well there we the occasional single malt bottles turning up. The mother lode of the entire expedition came at the Game Warden's station, so either the state employees like to eat chinese food and drink cheap beer or the hunters are really a bunch of pigs. Either way we cleaned the place up and in the end found this real kick ass fixie (with yours truly taking it for a test spin) that is potentially the grand prize for the Singlespeed-a-Palooza.

Ferrari Formula 1 Linked to Moab Race Effort

With the recent technology limits and budget caps being put in place to hold down the spiraling costs of competing in Formula One, Ferrari has has graciously offered to throw the full weight of their R&D department behind the 24 Hours of Moab effort.
Rumors from the F1 paddock are that Ferrari's head Luca de Montezemolo, a big fan of the Snuggie, upon seeing the ad campaign, immediately committed all excess capacity at the factory to help with the development of Mike Davidson's fixie.
Fearing the imbalance that could occur in cornering with one pony keg empty and the other full and Mike's ability to maintain balance when totally in the bag, Ferrari opted for the single full keg set up to optimize handling. To aide in faster lap times Ferrari's recently developed KERS (kinetic energy recovery system) will be employed, making use of energy created during braking (and Mike breaking wind) to keep the keg properly pressurized for optimal flow. Calculations from the engineers shows that Mike can save over 8 minutes per lap by not having to pump up the keg. This new super secret ride will be undergoing it's first test at Stewart on Easter Sunday.

Hawaiian Mike to Ride Fixie at Moab

Not satisfied with the handling of his new Niner One 9, (too many crashes on the opening ride and the fact that his son took back the tubing for his jungle gym), Hawaiian Mike and MacGyver, the Darkhorse Cycles Skunk Works Factory Development Team, have been hard at work in the basement creating a more stable frame geometry for the race. After a couple of laps around the neighborhood Mike was heard commenting "this thing is so stable I can pound Double Dead Guys on every lap and never crash".
While capacity for water bottles is somewhat in doubt, The Mayor immediately noted that the rear platform was the perfect mounting point for a pair of pony kegs and is rumoured to be in negotiations to have a custom geometry 29er version built. Currently the biggest concerns being faced are the ability to adapt the Cycleops PowerTap's 32 spoke hub to the 12 spoke front wheel and how to sync up the rear disc brakes to ensure there is no brake induced spinouts.
Further testing is slated to take place this weekend at Stewart with a big wheel version planned for the Porcupine Ridge ride scheduled to happen right after the race.

New East Coast Syndicate Medical Meltdown

We here at the New East Coast Syndicate are wishing all the best to our seasoned singlespeed champion, Paul Livornese (aka Top Chef) who is going under the knife as this is being written. There seems to be a growing theme here with C-Dubs having his round last year, Top Chef in today and MacGyver going in for a bit of pipe cleaning next week! We wish for a speedy recovery to all and anticpate everyone being back in the saddle for the season. On the off chance on of our fearless riders has his chart mixed with another patient you might end up being chased down the trail by a crazed rider looking like this.

Moab Spy Photos

With word of the Darkhorse Racing/Beer Drinking team making the rounds of the mtb forums, major cycling publications have been bombarding the shop with calls for comments. It has gotten to the point where the Mayor find himself reaching for the tap everytime the phone rings. George was overheard at one point screaming "I can't take it anymore, now I know how the Octomom feels when she comes home with the kids."
It has even gotten to the point where the dumpster is being scavenged for clues on team strategy and more importantly the bikes everyone will be racing. Rather then sell ourselves out to publications like The Star and National Enquirer, and to provide the Mayor with some peace and quiet, we have decided to release this super secret development photo of the Mayor's 24 Hour ride. MacGyver is still developing a derailleur hanger strong enough to support the weight of a full keg, which Mayor's coach has determined through prolonged training sessions, as the minimum fluid intake he will require per lap to stay properly hydrated.
In the event MacGyver is unable to get either the titanium or unobtainium derailleur hangers to work, Shop Sidekick as come up with this beautiful baby. It is currently undgoing testing in Stewart State Forest to determine if it is a viable option for the narrow singletrack.

March Stud Muffin - Hawaiian Mike

This month's feature rider is none other then Hawaiian Mike (aka The Guppy) out for his first mtb ride of the season. Mike assured us he would have been on the trails sooner but it took MacGyver and Mike a bit longer then planned to build that beautiful gold singlespeed. Apparently converting the Kohler Dual Flush into a rideable seat proved tougher then Mike planned and his kids put up one hell of a fight as he dismantled the jungle gym to obtain the proper strength tubing to handle all his man power.

Mike, our hat is off to you for finally putting down the strudel and picking up the bike, making you the NECS March Stud Muffin.

Even More Sponsors for the 24 Hours of Moab

Right on the heals of the earth shattering news of Snuggie being an offical sponsor of Dark Horse Cycle Racing for the 24 hours of Moab, Rogue breweries have thrown all their weight behind the effort and have promised to fuel the team's spirit with their top of the line spirit, Double Dead Guy Ale! The Mayor, seen below at the exclusive photoshoot for Rogue's new ad campagin was quoted saying "night laps are for the young punks. Being the Mayor, and senior citizen of the team, I have earned the right to suck down all the Double Dead Guy I want during the night." Geroge fully intends to assist on the night laps, throwing replacement battery packs to passing teammates.

Dark Horse Racing Picks Up New Sponsor for the 24 Hours of Moab

In an effort to combat what we anticipate will be a very cold October night in the desert of Moab, Dark Horse Cycles Racing Team has been engaged in an all out effort to retain sponsorship to provide team members with the maximum in comfort. Rumors have been circulating in Velonews and the various mtb forums about a potential collaboration between Niner, NASA and Brooklyn Lager to ensure that riders will be warm but their beers will remain cold. Well loyal readers it is time to dispell all rumors and mystery and reveal our latest sponsor, seen here during a preliminary super secret test session - SNUGGIE!!!! The only concern expressed by The Mayor was who would get his beer once he settled in for the long session of night laps.

Hawaiian Mike Gets His New Niner S.I.R. & Goes For A Test Ride

NECS Spring Classcis Begin - Pomona-Westwood-Pomona

With the unrelenting nuclear style assaults being waged by the members of Team Seagal down on the trails of St. Louis and the ensuing creation of more strength through negative weakness, it was only a matter of time before the nuclear winter and it's resulting thaw would work it's way up North. Well my good friends it arrived this weekend and we here at the New East Coast Syndicate decided the time was right for our take on the age old Euro ritual - the spring classics.
We rolled out of Hawaiian Mike's tiki bar and brothel planning on a low key 35 miles through the rolling hills of Jersey's swank estates where the closest we would come to cobbles like these was going past an estate driveway.
With everyone jacked up on a couple of cups of Joe, it wasn't to far into the ride before we all decided to stop, have a gu, swig from the water bottles (sorry no flasks on the road rides) and try our hand at snowbank calligraphy. Back onto the bikes and we proceed to put in a handful of miles dodging potholes and boneheads with cellphones glued to their heads. Banter consisted mainly around the duration of the ride with Hawaiian Mike insisting it was going to be an easy 35 and the wily old Mayor, knowing Mike's ability to judge distance was right up there with that of an infant telling time, having severe doubts and his beer goggles on. Meanwhile Top Chef and C-Dubs decided to make a bit of sport out of the ride and attempted to crush every climb there was. As we plowed through the towns, riding with zeal and desire to get back to the growler luau at the casa, everyone started to roll through the stop signs to get back sooner. No sooner did we roll through one and then come up to the cars at the stop light when this thing, with cigarette hanging out of her pie hole, starting jawing off to us about obeying traffic signals. Judging from her size we all guessed that she had more then a bit of experience running lights to make it to McDonalds for the breakfast special.
As we rolled along, what had been forecast as a beautiful sunny day was fast turning into a rather gloomy one. Inquiring on which direction we were heading I pointed to the blackening thunderheads, looked at Hawaiian Mike and gulped as he gave the nod that we were going right into the thick of it. Ahh spring time and thoughts of the euro classics and the finest of Belgium
turned into the spring classics and the reality of Belgium, sprinkles, then intermittent rain and then the downpour.
And trust me it wasn't one of those quickies, it kept coming for awhile until we rode north into the clearing skies and windy colder conditions, and of course it was into the wind the rest of the way home. With Hawaiian Mike practicing for his single speed races by keeping it in the small ring and spinning like a tyke on a tricycle his seat began to succumb to the gyrations of the glutus maximus and the bolts loosened up and cried uncle. A couple of passing riders came to the rescue and within minutes we had Mike back in the game and riding toward total implosion. Not having listened to the wisdom of the Mayor, at about the mile 35 mark Top Chef and I heard a loud explosion and when we looked back we saw a sight very similar to the film clip below with Mike finally collapsing under the torrid pace and conditions.

Well once we picked up the pieces, shed the Hazmat suits and finished off the final miles it was into the driveway and time to enjoy a few of these well earned beers. Shop Sidekick, MacGyver and Footie, you missed a classic salt covered ride.

February Stud Muffin - Ryan LaBar

Anyone that can ride 4 days, 250 miles and 25,000' of climbing is a stud! For riding the Baja Epic on the Shit Bike, Ryan LaBar of Bike magazine, is the New East Coast Syndicate's February Stud Muffin of the Month

East Coast Syndicate Tackles the Nuclear Winter

With the onslaught of global warming we here at the East Coast Syndicate continue every Sunday morning doing our best to curtail the emission of noxious gases (at least from the tailpipes of automobiles) by setting out on our weekly 2 hour singlespeed-a-thon in the Newburgh version of Nottingham Forest - Stewart State Park.
As the season rolls on more and more riders are unknowingly getting sucked into the vortex of the New East Coast Syndicate. Taking advantage of the skills of CIA handlers and past brushes with subliminal mind control techniques, the members of the Sunday rides are showing a superior attitude and superior state of mind. No amount of snow or ice, frigid temperature or hunter in the woods has been able to stop the onslaught of a battalion of single speed maniacs combating the elements in search of the perfect winter single track.

The Sunday Crew - Sans Hawaiian Mike (no surprise there)

Unlike our brothers in the heartland of global brewing - St. Louis - who if lucky are able to squeeze one or two of these magnificent rides in a year, we have been blessed/cursed (depending on your state of mind) with these conditions for the last 9 straight weekends. Today the conditions proved to be better then usual with temperatures finally getting into the double digits without the wind chill and the icy conditions buried under another 6" of fresh pow. Most of the trails well tracked and packed by snowmobiles but on occasion we were able to get in some fresh ones like this quick shot down the hill.

C-Dubs taking the plunge

The highlight of the ride came as the Mayor led his pack of merry men out onto the reservoir for a lap on the ice. It is here that we are all able to hone our aikido like skills of balance and quick reflexes for the summer races/wrist snapping. There is nothing quite like seeing a pace line of riders spinning along on the glassy surface and one by one suddenly riders are hitting the deck in spectacular fashion. Even the ice fisherman were able to emerge from the haze of alcohol and various illegal substances just long enough to get in a couple of chuckles before focusing intently on trying to bag that record breaking perch.
With everyone having taken enough of a beating on the ice and Shop Sidekick's voice fading into the distance from laughing so hard at the ice capades, we all elected to take the most direct route back to the parking lot and partake in the traditional Dark Horse Cycle debrief - cold growlers of IPA. With the forecast calling for more snow this week it seems like there won't be any let up. But there is always a bright side to all of this, the snowbank keeps the beer nice and cold.

New East Coast Syndicate January Stud Muffin Pinup

For all of you that are in need of new wallpaper for your computer the New East Coast Syndicate is happy to offer our Stud Muffin of the Month download. The first ever wallpaper pinup features Clydesdale class racer MacGyver, seen here showing that his muscles are impervious to the cold.

The Hawaiian Mike Memorial Ride

Okay fans of the New East Coast Syndicate, you now get to see just how stubborn the Dark Horse Cycles Sunday Single Speed riders can be. Not having learned our lesson after the New Year's Day nut freezer ride we waited for yet another day of optimal conditions before setting out for more adventure in the secret forests of Stewart State Park.

As always heading the pack was the Mayor of MTA, George Zublasky, this time sans thong and single speed. In close pursuit was Shop Sidekick, Mike Rave, who was sporting a fine set of fire breathing dragon rotors on his new scandium Niner. With 5" of fresh powder on top of the base layer (which consisted of 3" of snow/slush followed by nights of 20 degree weather to help put down a solid ice layer). The Mayor had made the smart choice and went with full gears and never has MTA seen so much riding in Granny gear. Shop Sidekick and I opted for the single speeds and would later pay for such a foolish choice.

Right on the Mayor's wheel was MacGyver Webb on the Titus Hell Rider. After casting eyes on my flask holder, MacGyver broke out the slide rule and determined that could reproduce the finely crafted aluminum holder in a matter of 27.24 hours - something that none of us doubted after seeing the awesome basement special Flesh Shredder tires he had created after pulling an all nighter with a keg in his lab/machineshop. At least MacGyver was kind enough to grind off the tips of the screws to avoid inflicting bodily harm on any unsuspecting riders.

Despite the conditions there is nothing better then looking down the trail and seeing a sight like this - virgin tracks!!!!

Here is the Mayor showing everyone how to lay it down in the woods 

and then showing everyone the physique you too can develop with the 12 oz. curl workout

By this time you all might be asking, why the hell is this article entitled the "Hawaiian Mike Memorial Ride"? Well sports fans we have pictures for you that are rarer then an image of Sasquatch, they are shots of Hawaiian Mike's spirit out for a Sunday ride with the crew.

Hawaiian Mike busting trail at the start of the day

and after the ride enjoying a fine yeasty malted beverage with the crew

-5 Degrees of Separation or Freezing Your Nuts Off on New Years

As the New Year's baby came screaming and crapping into 2009 the crew from Dark Horse Cycles had their own special celebration planned - the annual 01/01 singlespeed ride. Showing some mercy, the ride was scheduled to roll out of the parking lot at Stewart State Forest at 10:00 am. This would allow all involved to sober up, brew some strong Joe and bundle up for the brutality that was in store. With temps hovering near the 10 degree mark and the wind chill at a down right balmy -5 only the real (stupid) men made the call of the wild. It was going to be one of those days that inflicted maximum taint pain with the temps soooo cold the chamois butter became chamois brittle.

In what had to be the surprise of the New Year, Hawaiian Mike had confirmed for the ride. In his honor we suited up in our Don Ho shirts, rigged up the rides with the bottle cage flask of Del Maguay Agave

and had the hula girl dancing on the bars for the entire ride. The mere fact that this heavenly creature of the blue lagoon was able to put on a show in her hula attire for the entire 2 hour ride left us all speechless by the end.

Giving the benefit of the doubt to all invited (and assuming that the cold was playing havoc with car batteries and starters) we circled the lot like great whites coming in for the kill and waited a few extra minutes for Hawaiian Mike to arrive strumming the ukulele and crooning some Beach Boys classics. All of the waiting was for naught as Mike failed to show (more on this later). While we were all getting cold circling the lot that wily old dog George Z, who knew better, was firmly ensconced in the pickup making love to a growler of IPA.

Paul, the gourmet of the group, was giving the post ride pork tenderloin one final turn in the marinate. Then it was a round of shots from the flask and we were off to the races.

Mike Rave was leading the pack, cutting fresh tracks on the road and single track and locating all of the icy patches. Sadly the cold sucked all the life out of the battery and we were unable to catch the highlights that included everyone taking random tumbles on the ice hidden under the snow. In classic Sunday ride fashion I was making sure I got in a season's worth of crashes in the first couple of rides and was thrown to the mat numerous times like a child in a sumo match. The crash of the day award went to George when on the final descent he did his best impersonation of a lumber company clear cutting a forest of young saplings.

The entire ride was dominated by two trains of thought - how much longer are we going to suffer before hitting the keg and barbecue at Dark Horse Cycles and what had befallen the infamous Hawaiian Mike. These were the top five scenarios we imagined happening the Mike at this very moment -

Getting a round of spousal love

Out back "cleaning the barn"

Taking care of the Honey Dos

At the church praying for the opportunity to enjoy life again (i.e. ride bikes and drink beer with the guys)

Being the obedient husband

All joking aside the entire crew loves you Mike and we just wanted to let you know we missed you!

2008 In Review - Year of the Snapped Wrist

It has come to that time of the year when old father time needs to have the Depends changed and we prepare for the crap filled Pampers of the New Year's baby. It is also the time that I like to reflect back on another year gone by and the adventures that will be ingrained in my mind (at least until Alzheimer's sets in). This year started out with a bang as I partied out of my 40’s and into the 50’s.

Suddenly there was the realization that I had perhaps reached, if not passed the apogee of the bell curve of life. I recall seeing a flash of bright light, thinking I had perhaps reached the end of the tunnel and an appointment with my maker. Turns out it was the flash of the camera catching me in a semi conscious moment of alcohol abuse.

The brighter note was the knowledge that no longer was I going head-to-head with the young turks of mountain biking, instead I was the young punk of the Master’s class. This also meant that it was time to shed the ENO cranks, single rear cog and rigid fork and go back to racing a fully geared bike with suspension, at least on the front end. For this I had the guys up at Independent Fabrication put together one kick ass Ti Lefty 29er. I was making sure I had every advantage available (short of a few rounds of EPO).
All of the training was getting to me but the results were coming in with podiums in the first two 100s. But there was something missing, that spark that got me into the sport, and it wasn’t until after the Mohican 100 that it came rushing at me like a hot kiss at the end of a wet fist – TEAM SEAGAL.

(Image lifted from Team Seagal's http://teamseagal.blogspot.com/)

No sooner had the first swig of PBR been poured and the googi berries sacrificed to the gods that I realized these guys had it hard wired for fun and like a future crackhead taking a first hit off the pipe, I was hooked. Born out of the loins of the Mohican 100 was the New East Coast Syndicate - and the new found incentive to ride in honor of the Grand Master Seagal spurring me on for the remainder of the season. Supplementing my training with late night sessions in the dojo I was fully prepared to take any beating that would come and was able to score podiums in the balance of the races. The season ended with two thirds a second and a fourth. Due to the scoring system of the NUE series this meant rather then third overall I ended up in fourth overall – I felt worse then this guy.

Working in the financial markets meant that the season essentially ended in September when the mother of all financial tsunamis hit the global markets. Work went from low stress 50 hour weeks to grueling 70 hour stints in the trenches. Despite all of this there was no stopping the New East Coast Syndicate from making it's international debut for Team Seagal at the Baja Epic. With the master himself riding shotgun I was able to dodge the bullets flying around Baja, survive the rabid canines and bring home the hardware finishing 1st in Master's and 6th overall.

Due to sudden unpredictable events (at least I still have a job for now) my race plans for the coming year have been put into total disarray with only the Singlespeed-a-Palooza and the Wilderness 101 confirmed. Certainly the highest priority is to meet the rest of Team Seagal and do one of the crazy events they are plugged into, perhaps Burning is in the cards! Stay tuned for the further adventures of the New East Coast Syndicate.