MRC Non Racer Pulled From Gran Fondo

In a bizarre incident, police stopped and arrested a Latin American rider while he was leading Spain’s most prestigious gran fondo, the Quebrantahuesos event, across the Pyrénées on Saturday.

Señor Agua Caliente had won the first two editions of Beer Cross and was dipping his wick in a first try the popular event but was yanked from the race 30km from the finish by agents from Spain’s Guardia Civil when he was poised to win yet another growler of fine crafted beer.

According to reports in the Spanish media, the presence of Señor Agua Caliente raised the ire of event organizers. Caliente had been banned for life in recumbent crit racing for doping infractions, and also had previously served a ban as a pro partier when showed up for a non race in a chicken suit.

The Spanish daily MARCA reported that organizers did not invite Caliente to compete, but he reportedly earned a spot in the 205km gran fondo by lottery. When event officials saw that he was in position to win as one of a leading pair of riders, police intervened to remove him from the race about 30km from the finish line.

Event officials cited their “right of admission” to rationalize their dramatic step to remove Caliente, who created a polemic among the Spanish cycling community when he was allowed to race last year and won the elite event.

According to a report on the Spanish wire service EFE, agents tried three times to stop Caliente during the event. When he was finally detained in the town of Hoz de Jaca, he was later transported to a local bar and served countless pitchers to weigh down his wooden leg and hinder his chances of escaping.

More than 10,000 cyclists participated in the event over the weekend, including former pros Miguel Indurain and Abraham Olano.

For more in depth dirt on this spectacular event make sure to be at the non starting line 7/12 for a 9:00 roll.

Moar Gran Fondo Updates

The mark of a truly great rider is the ability to focus on the task at hand no matter what the level of adversity. As you can see from this shot there are MRCistas that are taking the Gran Fondo almost as serious as some of the jerks that actually dope for these type of events.

So serious is this event viewed on the East Coast circuit that Velonews recently pulled Andrew Hood off the Tour de Suisse coverage and flew him all the way in from Europe to get the inside skinny on just what makes this event so spectacular.

VN: C-Dubbs, do you mind just going with Dubbs?

Dubbs: No problem Andrew, we are pretty laid back here at the MRC/NECS

VN: Your Fondo is going on right as the TdF pushes into the high mountains for the first time, do you see this as drawing interest and participation away from the event?

Dubbs: Not really, we offer the opportunity for our riders to get high in the mountains as well, uh I mean get into the high mountains (of the Catskills). It really is all a matter of preference, french roast coffee and red wine or kick ass on-the-course espressos and the finest micro brewed craft beers. Hell we don't have any tolerance for that Euro kind of shit, unless of course it is a Colnago. C'mon, which would you rather do, wheelchair quarterback a climb in the Alps with Phil Liggett or get on board a man train along the Wallkill river powered by excitement and a cooler full of beers at the end. Besides we don't have random drug testing, only random drug taking.

VN: Your comments tend to make one think this is a fast and loose event with anything going.

Dubbs: Not quite, we run a tight ship. With a steep 6 pack entry fee everyone is expected to consume some mind altering substance along the ride. To ensure a good time for all there will be the super secret cooler stop.

VN: Prudhomme is able to bring in top teams such as Sky, Tinkoff and Garmin and their top riders. Who do you have and how do you manage to get them here rather then France?

Dubbs: Top teams, from what I hear the ethics can be a bit questionable and those "marginal gains" come in the form of TUEs and Tramadol. We have most of the New East Coast Syndicate, MRC and a smattering of the kings of the non race peleton, Team Seagal. I fully expect to see the first half dominated by the likes of Braveheart who will put on a display of powered by excitement that would make Marcel Kittel's power meter jealous. Hopefully MacGyver will be there pulling the man train down Springtown Road.

VN: Teams work together to get their leader to the line with the lowest overall time to secure the Malliot Jaune, just what is the focus at your Gran Fondo?

Dubbs: We take a different approach with the winner being based on most and not least only this year it will be the highest overall score in our post ride playoff which will also mean the most booze consumed by the winner. (looking at his watch) Andrew I really have to get going to fine tune some of the logistics for the event. I can tell you this, Saturday 7/12 with a rollout at 9:00am from Casa de C-Dubbs (668 Sand Hill Road, Gardiner) followed up with a great BBQ. Showers will be available on premises so don't forget to bring a towel.

Dark Horse 628 Challenge

Well fellow worshipers of the NECS/MRC, it has been awhile since I have been in a state of mind where I could put fingers to keyboard and write something that was truly meaningless but entertaining. The Dark Horse 628 challenge has provided that fodder for me so here it goes.

You will recall in the last post, Time To Roll A Fatty, that due to a sudden economic upturn in the life of C-Dubbs, a persistent plying of beers by the Mayor to get me into a drunken stupor, and not having fallen or crashed on the test ride, decided that what better way to participate in the 628 Challenge/Scavenger Hunt on the trails of Stewart State Forest then on a fatty – enter the Towelie bike. As excited as a child on Cxmas morning.

I arrived early at Dark Horse to finalize the set up and raid the kegerator for a couple of rounds of some fine craft brewed yeasty malted beverages to ensure optimal navigation and bike handling skills on the trail. A few Montauk Brewery Summer Pale Ales later and I was assured that the odds of getting lost were going to be slim as my teammate, Muttonchops, came equipped with a map.

With such reassurance and the carefree attitude that comes from several beers, we did a bit of team building by hanging around the kegerator and pouring a few more cans of liquid courage down our throats. We lubricated and feeling the new bike fasties we were as sure a bet as California Chrome.

Using a technique learned from the great NJ Transit conductor, Mike “The Calf” Montebano, and to combat Infantile Tom syndrome at the first stop on Ridge Rd I punched all stops on the ticket. Crossing the great swamp the fatties put up such a big wake we caught this shot of the Stewart wildlife.

Pulling up to the turn for the dump at Major Mike we held a quick team meeting and determined that with our superior attitude (of having fun) and superior state of mind (due to a lot of scripture reading) our mere presence in the vicinity of the hole puncher was as sure a thing a actually getting to the sight. Such profound insight enabled us to flip the bird and rail some awesome single track. It was on the Campground Trail that I first discovered that with 4.6” wide tires at 8 psi you can pull some awesome moves that rival Vin Diesel in The Fast & The Furious Tokyo Drifts. Plowing up the climb to the Ranger Station as everyone was passing us going the opposite direction that we had indeed made the correct choice – f*#k the direct route, railing some hardpacked single track was the right call.

After a brief Micro G teleconference where (the rest of the MRC Board was unavailable) is was down the Orchard Trail before a spin by the Beaver Pond, at least we got within a ¼ mile which was close enough for government work, before passing the base of Washboard Hill and racking up yet another hole punch. From there it was a direct fatty roll up Baron Road to the Umbrella Factory and then onto the old steps on Barron Road and onward to Dark Horse Cycles. Pulling across the line in second MacGyver was up in arms not believing that a fatty could have possibly completed the course that fast and he was right. But who cares, we didn’t claim to have finished and in the spirit of NECS/MRC non racing Muttonchops and I were the absolute winners based solely on the great time and awesome trails we rode compared to the dirt roads everyone else rolled. Following the ride we were once again treated to an amazors BBQ hosted by the Mayor & his better half and the Raveinator & his better half. Along with the turf and surf spread there was a bit of crooning with the Makers Mark bottle by the ladies and we want to give a special welcome to a new member – Cathy the Maker’s Mark Queen.

Time To Roll A Fatty

Well it is the first month that the Wicked Witch of the North is no longer screeching at me with a voice that is worse than fingernails dragged down a blackboard and sucking money out of my wallet. And what better way to enjoy the peace and quiet after 21 years of torture then to roll a nice big fatty. So off to Dark Horse Cycles where after a casual Sunday morning road ride and the Mayor plying me with fine yeasty malted beverages I had just enough of a buzz to take a spin and lay down the plastic and pick up a Specialized Fatboy.

What does this mean for all you devout followers, well later this year we will be hosting the first NECS/MRC off road non race - Roll A Fatty. So stay tuned for moar details on what will certainly be another top quality event.

Speaking of high quality events put a circle on your calendar for 7/12 when Gran Fondo will roll out of the Casa de C-Dubbs for a 60 mile journey around the East side of the ridge. 6 pack entry fee, surprise challenge to determine the non winner and of course a riverside BBQ hosted by Mrs. C-Dubbs. Details will be fast in furious in the coming weeks so stay tuned.

The Condensed Version Of May

Alright I admit, I have been a lazy mofo and frankly the dribble that pours out of my brain cells and onto this blog just hasn't been dribbling, in fact it has been a downright case of brain fade. Still caught in this death spiral and realizing that all of the action of May is getting to the point where Alzheimer's is going to prevent anyone from ever knowing the true story here it is in the most condensed version ever.

• Casey Ryback comes to town
• Beer
• Moar Beer
• Imported stash of fine STL craft beers invades my fridge
• Moar Beer
• Moar Beer
• No upper deckers (amazing)
• 5 Borough Bike Tour
• Cool & Cloudy
• Healthy helping of Lebanese black cheese for breakfast
• Flask full of Hudson Valley Baby Bourbon
• 26" singlespeed
• Beth, Mona, Seth & 32,000 of my closest riding buddies
• Moar carnage in one day then in 10 yrs of mtb racing
• Backboards, neck braces, lots of blood
• Woman screaming as she crashes, now ex-boyfriend yelling "Ah come on Honey"
• Ferry ride home
• Bear Mountain Beatdown
• Obamafear thins the ranks to 3 hardcores
• Climbing, climbing, climbing and moar climbing
• If the choice was between going down or up the course always went up
• Scoped part of that back alley event - NY Gran Fondo (course was for sissies)
• Tour of West Point
• Fact of the day - Custer changed uniforms with a dead corporal so his balls wouldn't end up on Chief Sitting Bull's teepee mantle
• Finished up Mountain Road the steep way to earn big beers
• Obamabeatdown
• State Trooper riding buddy
• Attacked by a car
• Lots of road rash, scabs and a few broken ribs
• Discovering the pleasure of hospital morphine
• On the road to recovery
• Gran Fondo Scouting Ride
• Kinder & gentler
• 60 miles
• 3500' climbing
• Espresso and beer stops reconnoitered

And that's it for now, stayed tuned for moar posting on the upcoming original NECS/MRC non race - Gran Fondo