Wednesday, August 25, 2010

What Makes America Great

There are always a few guarantees you can count on when attending a rodeo.
Steers will be wrestled. Clowns will be gored. And your olfactory senses will be treated to an absolutely delightful bouquet of frontier fragrance.
Naturally, it was only a matter of time before someone bottled it.
Introducing Let’er Buck Cologne, a new fragrence that finally lets you embrace the scent of a rodeo cowboy, available now.
Think of it as your own personal Eau de Eastwood. It's inspired by Oregon's Pendleton Round-Up, the oldest and most prestigious four-day rodeo in the West. (Trust us: you would not want to smell like a five-day rodeo.) So inside the bottle, you'll find all the glorious fragrances from your last summer camping trip. The wild lavender. The musky foliage. The slowly burning soft-amber wood fire. A tantalizing hint of cold PBR (This alone is reason enough to buy up all the stock you can find).
You'll want to dab this on next time you plan on doing some moseying, even if it's just to happy hour. Or if you want to test it out in a real-life rodeo situation, you can hit up the Round-Up’s centennial anniversary next month.
What is next - Chuck Norris Black Belt cologne with a fine sent of sweaty dojo mats or Seagal Splash On with a hint of snapped wrist bone marrow?

Sunday, August 15, 2010

2nd Annual "Stewart Brings Out Her Dead"/ NECS Non Race #2

A very elite group (read that to be drunk old men) met at the new Dark Horse HQ for the second annual "Stewart Brings Out Her Dead" non race (The Mayor & C-Dubs being old, Mikesquatch acts like an old man and the Raveinator is our "bald headed step child" that keeps us out of trouble). This year we skipped collecting trash and empty beer cans from the woods and instead set out to explore the overgrown trails of yesteryear. Right out of the chutes it was clear that Mikesquatch had an axe to grind (perhaps literally) and with a 32x17 he was putting the hurt on all of us.
Tracing parts of the Dark Horse 40 course in reverse and connecting them with trails of the past we rode on in pursuit of Mike and stumbled upon the Raveinator's personal in the woods training center where he showed us the secrets of getting young male riders to train with him.Moar riding and finally, with the Mayor slumped over the bars trying to catch his breath, it was declared beer time. Suddenly Mikesquatch was off the back and the Mayor was blazing a trail of glory to the kegerator. After a couple of rounds we caught this fine clip.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Alternative Riding - Diablo

Coming off successful endeavors at the Wilderness 101 and Dark Horse 40, C-Dubs and Top Chef declared this past weekend as a "No Moar Training Weekend". Riding for Satruday was limited to bikes that tip the scales at 40 lbs, have 170mm of travel and real gnarly tires, preferably 2.5s.
Starting the day with a pot of primo Costa Rican coffee, a visit to Mt. Kohler and a big bowl of Chinese congee we loaded the truck and headed south to the highlands of New Jersey to Diablo Freeride and Water Park. Rumors of Snooki, The Situation and the rest of the Jersey Shore crew had us south well above the speed limit. All was for naught as the recent arrest of Snooki meant the everyone had to keep low key until the start of the new series.
Arriving at the park I was excited to bomb the mountain on the Norco with it's new Marzocchi triple crown fork and being fresh out of the box there had been no set up done. After consulting tech guru, Top Chef, I pumped in his recommneded 90 lbs. Well the first run was an easy beginner one and we both got the downhill mojo going again, enough so that the second run we upped it to one of the expert runs. Half way down I was suffering with the rock gardens, taking a pounding and hearing a lot of noises from the bike. Stopping to check it out Top Chef noted that the travel was under 80mm and some of the 90lbs of air should be let out. Well having survived a downhill run on basically a rigid 40lb bike was an event in itself and after letting all of the air out I finally had the full 170mm of travel and it was time to go and have some fun like this -

After a couple more runs like that we headed to the outdoor bar at the base of the lift and had margaritas Team Seagal style

Then it was time to load the bikes and head out for some chinese food and beer for the trip home.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Widerness 101/Cinderella Goes To The Ball

Well loyal fans of the NECS there has been a lot of sweat and miles put in for this year's running of the Wilderness 101 and for the 10th edition of this fine race there is a new recruit to enjoy the suffering. Yes our beloved and self named "Fat Chick with Hot Girlfriends" is making the journey to find his inner self on the trails of Bald Eagle State Park (and not in the form of puke). For those that don't know the story of FC it is rather compelling. To break up the monotony of riding solo or in pairs, Top Chef came up with the idea of the Saturday group road ride (which our beloved Ewok of Moab quickly dismissed as a millionaires riding club and hence the name MRC). Well at the first ride FC showed sporting some serious (we believe they were 52mm) aero carbon rims on a fully pimped ride. Guppying off the back on the first big climb FC crested the summit and announced to the troops "I feel like the fat chick at the bar with the hot girlfriends" and thus was born the name. Well FC went on the mileage diet this summer and suffered through numerous ascents and hot humid training sessions to get his dirty century cherry popped.
Arriving in Coburn we were graced with some of the best weather of the summer, cool temps, low humidity and a course that was dusty and dry, assuring all mortals in the middle of the pack the famous brown snot shot from the nose. Establishing a forward position by the trees and finish line, Mrs C-Dubs and I erected the tarp village made famous by the homeless and working classes of third world countries and soon were getting suited up for a bit of preriding.Thundering into the park in his diesel super pickup, FC hopped out and was ready to go and within minutes we were up the first climb of the course and taking in the scenery. With the recent workdays extending to well over 12 hours, while I was physically in peak for the race mentally it was a different story and expectations were low. Mrs C-Dubs was looking to double the distance from last year and get the first 40 in and FC was aiming to finish before the vampires came out.
Race day dawned even cooler and excitement was in the air resulting in these incredibly long lines for the port-a-johnsand was followed by the prerace warning about the first descent (there are bad crashes every year and this one was no exception). As we rolled out of Coburn Park for a single lap of madness I once again took my time a waved to the locals.Always a slow starter I get great amusement each year watching riders hammer the first 20 - 40 miles, looking for pacelines on the flats and thinking "I have this one dialed in". Once the climbing starts at 45 miles these warriors usually drop off the back and tend to roll over the line totally shattered with a 1000 yard stare sometime after the 12 hours mark.As the race progressed I was hitting all of the aid stations in my fastest time ever and not really feeling like the pace was being pushed. By aide station 4, Mrs C-Dubs had caught the shuttle and had my bottles ready, I was feeling great and limiting time at the stops to a few minutes before getting back on the bike. On the last climb Iwas reaching my limits and did get passed by one other master who was being paced up the hill by a waiting CX rider! Across the finish line in 9:32 for a pr and it was right to the campsite for a chinese egg roll, beer and a dip in the river. The Mrs. revealed that FC was moving right along and was in good spirits at aide station 4. A bit later, wandering back from the Freeze Thaw hospitality area, it was a great set up with tables, chairs, kegs and music, I witnessed a smiling FC rolling over the line in a Terry Ti Butterfly Saddle crushing time of 11:30. FC was so fresh looking I thought he might have been contemplating another lap of the course!
The evening was spent eating, eating, drinking and eating (final tally for the night - 2 cheeseburgers, plate of vegetables, 2 bags of gummi colas, bag of mint milanos, package of pecan sandies, half a box of Entemann's cinnamon buns plus other assorted foods that I can't remember. Mrs C-Dubs was excited about making the first 40 she was pounding down the wine until near the midnight hour but sadly FC opted for the hotel 30 minutes away and missed the night of partying.

C-Dubs, showing clear thinking even after 101 miles, reaches for the pint glass as he crosses the lineCinderella makes it to the ball